Gonna get engaged, ring advice please!

Black95GTS

Black95GTS

Active Member
Jan 8, 2004
1,644
3
38
Marlborough, MA
#1
Stangnetters:

I've been squirreling away some loot for about a year, and I'm ready to buy a ring. I think I've got the Color, Cut, Clarity, and Carat down, but I understand there are some other features I should look at. I've been to a couple places but they are selling machines.

Please post with your experiences, tips, hints, suggestions, etc when buying a stone. My girl is 5'7 and built like the proverbial brick ****house. 34-22-34 and she can squat 155, dead 135, and bench 100. She's not petite, so while I can appreciate the argument that size is not as important as quality, I don't want to skimp on it completely. She is a ring size 6.5 if that helps with a frame of reference.

thanks,

Adam
 

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#2
if you want clarity/color, u want a Leo Diamond... usually carried at Kay Jewelers.

try White Hall Jewelers if you have any around you, check them out... theyre going outta business and having some great sales... worth a shot. theyre top of the line is a White Star, its not nearly as good as a Leo, but it is the top of the line diamond for THAT store.

past/present/future diamonds are the nicest, IMHO... im not into the whole one diamond on a band. and personally, i would get a bridal set, might as well get a matching wedding band for it...

figured id share my insight as ive been lookin around myself
 
#3
I've been looking as well. I get so infuriated when I think about it. I hate diamonds so much. Anyway, why don't you head down to NYC and talk to some brokers? They should be able to get you a WAY better deal than going through a reseller like Kay or whatever.
 
#4
I bought my wife her diamond when we were both in college... It is only a 2/3 carat and while she has the smallest diamond out of almsot everybody it works for her. But my wife is not a jewlery person.

But what her style is and get the best that you can in that style. Looking back I wish I had done the wedding set as I ended up doing the diamon, the enhancer, and a diamond wedding band...
 
#5
One of the most marked up useless pieces of of ?????????

BUT, we need to show the wife we love them.....Just don't feel obligated to go full bore and spend money to show EVERYONE ELSE how much money you spent......It is for her.....take her with you, try on the marquise, princess cut etc...and get a feeling of what looks good on her hand.

JMHO
 
#6
From my experience, find out exactly what style she likes, and then work around your budget with that. Ask a friend of hers if you dont know what kind of diamond she would like- but make sure its not a friend with a big mouth.

And like stated above- try to go with some kind of engagement ring/wedding band set. You dont know how much of a pain in the ass it is to match up the "right" wedding band for an engagement ring- oh the agony, lol.
 
#7
Definately go to a private jewler, forget those rip off stores in malls etc. Ususally you pay 50-60% of what you would at a retailer...plus a good private jewler will take the time to teach you all the in's and out's of shopping for a stone without pressure.

Get testimonials or go to someone people you know have used in the past.

Go with something "eye clean" meaning you can't see the inclusions (imperfections) without an eyeglass, usually this is an SI stone or better (VS stones get expensive quick).
Get close to colorless but not totally colorless, usually this is a G or H color stone (D, E, & F are colorless and EXPENSIVE)
Cut and Carat are up to you my friend!
 
#8
x2 to private places. I'll never buy anything from the big jewelry stores....u can just get so much more for your money at the smaller family owned places.

I recently bought my now fiance' a ring. It was a very informative experience for me. Seeing the different types of salesmen, their techniques, their prices, and what i liked/disliked. I knew what cut my girl liked, her style, and my budget. Found the jeweler that sat down with me and explained everything twice....and then answered all my questions before getting a dime from me. Even let me leave....to come back 2 weeks later and still had the ring, and still was patient with me while i asked more questions. My fiance' says its the perfect ring for her, it embodies everything she wanted. Her finger is about a 6(the ring was a 6 3/4 but it needs to be a little smaller) and the diamond is a marque cut at .6. Its a solitare setup with a matching band.

I've got zero regrets. Take your time, shop around. Go to those big chain stores just so u can compare that experience to going to the small family places. I almost got caught a few times in their selling techniques, but just resist. When you find the right ring....you'll know.

Good luck buddy!

:nice:
 
#9
Lots of good advice here on the shopping. I'd highly recommend the private guy over the big retail. Anyone can go to the mall store after they get done checking out LCDs at Best Buy. Taking the time to find a classy, private seller who actually will take care of you, shows that YOU have class, and that you're willing to invest some time (in addition to $$) in her.

Now for some advice--from a guy that's married 23 years and counting (bought the ring when I was an 18 year old E4):

Don't bust your budget on the BIG rock, the highest quality, etc. Big=showy. Expecting BIG=a lot of character traits I wouldn't want to live with the rest of my life. The really high quality stuff you can't tell without an old guy with a funny lens stuck in one eye. You won't have too many folks examining your bride's hand like that. And if you do you'll probably bust his lens and his jaw, so his opinion won't matter.

Get a decent size, good quality, put your TIME into it. That's what shows her you really care.

I'll contradict some of the advice here--I didn't get a set, and think it was a good idea. I bought a $600 1/2c (remember this was 25 years ago, so I wasn't a total cheapskate). We later bought our wedding set together, and again went inexpensive on the bands.

Use some of that money to build your lives together. We were "poor". I didn't sink us into debt trying to impress her.

Last year we were in Israel, where some of the best diamond finishers in the world are. I decided it was time to upgrade. Got escorted into the private room with the locks on the outside (kinda spooky actually). Spent 2 hours letting her pick out the rock, then the setting. She chose the same cut, and the same plain setting that she already had. Size and quality were an upgrade (price was too! :eek:). But it was a romantic thing that we did together, and when she'd see something and the guy would say a price, and she would say "that's too much" but here eyes were sparkling--then I got to say, no, it's not near what you're worth--and mean it, and not be panicking on the inside, wondering how many pizzas I was going to have to deliver to pay for that line!:D

Go slow, go quality, stay within your budget. The ring is a symbol. Invest in your relationship. God bless you both!
 
#10
Go slow, go quality, stay within your budget. The ring is a symbol. Invest in your relationship. God bless you both!


That's what I was attempting to say...Husky had a better way to put it.....keep this same mindset when planning the wedding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!lol
 
#11
I went to the Shane Co. they are national but not a mall chain. I am more than 100% pleased.

One thing I found after shopping around and even hitting the "mall" shops is you get WAY more for your money. Look at the bands and the quality/amount of stuff actually in the band. Then the fact you can pick from loose stones and find one that fits size wise as well as CCC for your price range. The service is one thing that really put me over the top. No pressure or BS...just how can I help you and lets see how we can get the most for YOUR dollar.

I went to the Shane location in flip flops cargo shorts and a half way decent T...not the "best" dressed while shopping for a purchase that is not generally a cheap one. The customer service guy asked the needed questions after I already had the band picked out and spent about an hour with me going over loose stones.

Went back a month later to pick it up and did not see the customer service guy. Went back another month later with the now wife to get it all "dialed in" and cleaned/inspected. The sales guy not only came over and said hello but called me by my name and asked how I was doing. 2 months later after about an hour with me total.

Another thing I like about Shane is if your covering this on a homeowners policy or like insurance plan and the insurance wants another opinion/more documents on the ring...Shane pays for that other paperwork and anything else needed to get coverage. I doubt the mall shops would do that.

In short +whatever on private/non-mall shops
 
#13
Thanks for the advice. There is a Jewelers Building in Boston with a ton of private stores in it along with the big national ones, so I'll probly end up walking around there.

She is totally frugal and practical, I am more the one to go over the top on something like this. I only plan on doing this one time so I want to do it right!

$10K is the absolute top of my budget, I'd like to keep it around $8K. My advantage is that I have $10K in liquid sitting in a savings account right now, so I won't go into any debt and I can use the cash thing as a bargaining point.

Keep 'em coming!

Adam
 
#14
Black95GTS said:
Thanks for the advice. There is a Jewelers Building in Boston with a ton of private stores in it along with the big national ones, so I'll probly end up walking around there.

She is totally frugal and practical, I am more the one to go over the top on something like this. I only plan on doing this one time so I want to do it right!

$10K is the absolute top of my budget, I'd like to keep it around $8K. My advantage is that I have $10K in liquid sitting in a savings account right now, so I won't go into any debt and I can use the cash thing as a bargaining point.

Keep 'em coming!

Adam
Click to expand...

i didnt even realize ur in MA! like that place i mentioned earlier, white hall jewelers... just some food for thought... since theyre going outa business, my girls aunt works there and shes got a ring combo set aside for me... its nothing crazy, but its the past present future. each ring is 1.5 carat total(wedding band and engagement)... so 3 kts total. its originally 5000, last weekend it went down to 2000.
 
#15
Black95GTS said:
Thanks for the advice. There is a Jewelers Building in Boston with a ton of private stores in it along with the big national ones, so I'll probly end up walking around there.
Click to expand...

OK, so far so good, sounds like you're on the right track...

Black95GTS said:
She is totally frugal and practical, I am more the one to go over the top on something like this. I only plan on doing this one time so I want to do it right!
Click to expand...
Still doing good...practical and frugal appreciate a little splurge to show that you're willing to do something really special at times...

Black95GTS said:
$10K is the absolute top of my budget, I'd like to keep it around $8K. My advantage is that I have $10K in liquid sitting in a savings account right now, so I won't go into any debt and I can use the cash thing as a bargaining point.
Click to expand...

:jaw::jaw::jaw:OMG! Are you like, loaded??? I'm taking some liberties here, making assumptions, etc. Your profile says you're 25. I'm comparing where I was at 25 financially, so if I'm totally wrong, forgive me, but I HIGHLY encourage you to rethink your price range.

Do you own a house already? What other savings/investments do you have? What percentage of your annual income does that $10k represent? I know when I was 25, I wasn't thinking about things like my own mortality, life after retirement, catastrophic injury, unemployment, etc. But I was a moron.:shrug:

I'm 43 (tomorrow!) now. I waited way too long to start really managing my finances. The main thing (other than God) that got me where I am was owning my own home. When I sold my last house to move back to AK, I made enough money to own all my vehicles free and clear. The only debt I have now is my house payment. I couldn't say that for the first 40 years. I can tell you that it's a great place to be.

Please reconsider spending that much money on a ring. She KNOWS you love her. You're not going to buy more love no matter how much you spend. Little female psychology here--the most important thing you can give a woman is security. They need to know that they're safe. Today in the US it's pretty easy to provide physical security for your bride. Financial security's a bigger challenge, particularly in today's market. Take 50% or even better 75% of that cash, and use it toward your future (ie, saving for downpayment on a home, building the 3-6 months savings that we should all have put away in case the unexpected happens, investing in something...). Buy the ring with the rest.

You say she's frugal and practical. Part of how you show her you love her is by recognizing what's important to her. I'm doing a LOT of assuming here, so again, don't get torqued at me if I'm off-base, but I'm thinking that spending the big $$ on an impressive ring is important to you.

You asked for advice. Sorry it's not advice on shopping, but hopefully this is more valuable to you. If not, all the advice I give comes with a money-back guarantee if you're not satisfied.:rolleyes:

Regardless, please don't be offended, and I pray that your marriage is long and joyful!
 
#16
Husky44 said:
OK, so far so good, sounds like you're on the right track...

Still doing good...practical and frugal appreciate a little splurge to show that you're willing to do something really special at times...



:jaw::jaw::jaw:OMG! Are you like, loaded??? I'm taking some liberties here, making assumptions, etc. Your profile says you're 25. I'm comparing where I was at 25 financially, so if I'm totally wrong, forgive me, but I HIGHLY encourage you to rethink your price range.

Do you own a house already? What other savings/investments do you have? What percentage of your annual income does that $10k represent? I know when I was 25, I wasn't thinking about things like my own mortality, life after retirement, catastrophic injury, unemployment, etc. But I was a moron.:shrug:

I'm 43 (tomorrow!) now. I waited way too long to start really managing my finances. The main thing (other than God) that got me where I am was owning my own home. When I sold my last house to move back to AK, I made enough money to own all my vehicles free and clear. The only debt I have now is my house payment. I couldn't say that for the first 40 years. I can tell you that it's a great place to be.

Please reconsider spending that much money on a ring. She KNOWS you love her. You're not going to buy more love no matter how much you spend. Little female psychology here--the most important thing you can give a woman is security. They need to know that they're safe. Today in the US it's pretty easy to provide physical security for your bride. Financial security's a bigger challenge, particularly in today's market. Take 50% or even better 75% of that cash, and use it toward your future (ie, saving for downpayment on a home, building the 3-6 months savings that we should all have put away in case the unexpected happens, investing in something...). Buy the ring with the rest.

You say she's frugal and practical. Part of how you show her you love her is by recognizing what's important to her. I'm doing a LOT of assuming here, so again, don't get torqued at me if I'm off-base, but I'm thinking that spending the big $$ on an impressive ring is important to you.

You asked for advice. Sorry it's not advice on shopping, but hopefully this is more valuable to you. If not, all the advice I give comes with a money-back guarantee if you're not satisfied.:rolleyes:

Regardless, please don't be offended, and I pray that your marriage is long and joyful!
Click to expand...

Haha no, not loaded but you have to remember that money is very relative to location. I'm 25 but I'll clear over 80K this year as an electrical engineer. My girl is a nurse and she will clear right around 60K and she's 24. But that's Boston dollars. My friend Becky works for JP Morgan in NYC and she makes 130K a year at 25 years old. She lives in a 1 bedroom thats nothing special. I rent a house thats nothing special.

6-7K will get you a nice 1 carat stone where I am at, plus the setting, so thats where I figure the 8K money seems reasonable. I'm thinking something like this:

1-1.25 Carats
Cut - Very Good to Ideal
Clarity - VS1 or better
Color - F to H
Seeing: Simple 18 or 24 carat gold (she doesn't like silver jewelry)

Adam
 
#17
Husky44 said:
OK, so far so good, sounds like you're on the right track...

Still doing good...practical and frugal appreciate a little splurge to show that you're willing to do something really special at times...



:jaw::jaw::jaw:OMG! Are you like, loaded??? I'm taking some liberties here, making assumptions, etc. Your profile says you're 25. I'm comparing where I was at 25 financially, so if I'm totally wrong, forgive me, but I HIGHLY encourage you to rethink your price range.

Do you own a house already? What other savings/investments do you have? What percentage of your annual income does that $10k represent? I know when I was 25, I wasn't thinking about things like my own mortality, life after retirement, catastrophic injury, unemployment, etc. But I was a moron.:shrug:

I'm 43 (tomorrow!) now. I waited way too long to start really managing my finances. The main thing (other than God) that got me where I am was owning my own home. When I sold my last house to move back to AK, I made enough money to own all my vehicles free and clear. The only debt I have now is my house payment. I couldn't say that for the first 40 years. I can tell you that it's a great place to be.

Please reconsider spending that much money on a ring. She KNOWS you love her. You're not going to buy more love no matter how much you spend. Little female psychology here--the most important thing you can give a woman is security. They need to know that they're safe. Today in the US it's pretty easy to provide physical security for your bride. Financial security's a bigger challenge, particularly in today's market. Take 50% or even better 75% of that cash, and use it toward your future (ie, saving for downpayment on a home, building the 3-6 months savings that we should all have put away in case the unexpected happens, investing in something...). Buy the ring with the rest.

You say she's frugal and practical. Part of how you show her you love her is by recognizing what's important to her. I'm doing a LOT of assuming here, so again, don't get torqued at me if I'm off-base, but I'm thinking that spending the big $$ on an impressive ring is important to you.

You asked for advice. Sorry it's not advice on shopping, but hopefully this is more valuable to you. If not, all the advice I give comes with a money-back guarantee if you're not satisfied.:rolleyes:

Regardless, please don't be offended, and I pray that your marriage is long and joyful!
Click to expand...

:hail2: Sage advice :hail2:
 
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