Yesterday was my first experience under the scrutiny of an I.S.C.A. judge.
I found it kinda funny actually, because here are all of these cars that range from old to new, Japanese, Domestic and European, Stock and modified, 2 wheel, and 4 wheel, Street drivers, and Trailer Queens. And the funny part........we're all in the same class!
This "show" is a regional event, promoted by an individual that solicits restaurants as a venue for one of his events. (presumably, to increase that restaurants' business for that day) He is a one man show, and quickly "judges" each car based on his International Show Car Association certification.
When he gets to me, I ask him "how do you keep the differences between these cars/motorcycles" on a level enough playing field to fairly judge them for what they are?"
He takes on his best authoritative pose and begins to use my car as an example:
Well he says, the first thing I take into consideration is the whole car. I look at the paint, trim, glass, wheels, and tires. (all of which my car had)
I look then to the interior, trunk, then to the engine. Lastly I look at detail.
"Now take your car for instance, I see it's got a roll bar, so I'm gonna look at it as a race car. I'm gonna ck the safety features that are missing, your certification on your restraints, the mounting of your roll bar and your fuel cell." "I'll tell you right now, you have holes in your firewall,...an engine fire will get into the passenger compartment through those holes."
"Your roll bar is improperly mounted, there should be additional rear projecting bars running into the trunk to add support to the main hoop to aid in keeping the roof off your head in the event of a rollover."
(All along while he's critiquing the car, he keeps reassuring me that he's not trying to be a hard ass or anything, which I keep reassuring him that I know that he's not)
"You have removed the SFI certification tags from your restraints, so I'd have to take that into account" I'd move on to your fuel system to see how your fuel cell was mounted, make sure it was safe, plumbed and properly vented and that you have the appropriate anti-rollover measures in place.
As I'm glazing over at all of the B/S,...I seize the next opportunity to inform my judge: (As politely as possible, so as not to jeopardize my chances of getting one of the fine trophies w/ the apple on top.)
Dude! This is a street car!. I drive it everywhere. It is so far from a "Race Car" it isn't even funny. Even it it was (a race car), this is an Applebees parking lot show, NOT an NHRA event. It has a rollbar for the sole purpose of giving me a mount point for the 4 point harnesses that DONT EVEN COME WITH AN SFI RATING IN THE FIRST PLACE!. The missing rear legs are supplemented by tying the main hoop to the factory 3 pt harness upper mount point. I don't want the damn rear bars going into my trunk through the package tray! The "holes" in the fire wall go into the cowl, where the windshield washer hose used to go, and isn't that much of a "fire concern" for me.
I'd think you'd look at the obvious outside body modifications, the interior, and the overall theme I'm trying to convey.
He says back, "well I'm glad you said something, so I'll look at it differently".
When he walks away I'm kinda pissed. I have resigned myself to the fact I'm not gonna get jack, and stand around talking to the other attendees waiting for the judging to end.
There are a whopping 50 cars there. Easily a dozen or so 50k+ street rods.
Another 8-10 late model Mustangs, some sorry assed-Scions w/ the full compliment of scissor doors, hippy joe fluorescent blue lighting pouring out of every opening, multiple woofers booming out some gangsta-crack. Some un-molested model "A's" various street drivers, 5-7 choppers and my morphedite.
And the one car that stands out in the crowd for this one reason in my mind....A twin turbo 69 Camaro "show car" that when I question the owner why he didn't plumb the discharge(s) of the turbo's into an intercooler he replies that "He really doesn't know what I'm talking about, He just took the car to a local shop and that's what he paid them to build" Let's just call him Clueless deep pocket Joe.
I take a quick inventory, and see that I.S.C.A. Dude has expected alot more than he's got, because he's brought 28 trophies.
When the "Awards ceremonies" begin, they announce that there are actually 3 classes, and 28 Trophies: #1. The top 15 overall. #2 The top 10 2000 and up #3 Top Bike. #4 Applebees Managers' Choice, and #5 best in show. ( So basically, all you had to do was show up to this show to win,....well there still was the 50:50 odds to overcome)
The Bikes were awarded first (modest British applause)
The Top 15 came next. I am the 15th to receive my trophy ("Awarded "in No Particular order") I get the hug from the Applbee-ette, The handshake from The Applebee Manager, The Show Judge snaps a pic, yells something Sarcastic about it not being a racecar, and I graciously accept my award.
Reach inside my coat pocket and read from my prepared speech "I'd like to take a moment to thank all of the "little people" that made this day possible" (Naww, not really, but someday......)
A 30 Model A w/ a Cobra engine wins best of show, A Corvette tripped the Applebee's managers fancy.
We all pose for our pictures w/ appletrophies.
I jump in my "Race car" and drive it on Regular gas the 37 miles back home.
Me and my bad-assed top15 trophy w/ the apple on top.
So Now I know what to expect if/when I go to this February's Auto show. I think I'll be better prepared for the Judges next time................
I'll Be drunk.
I found it kinda funny actually, because here are all of these cars that range from old to new, Japanese, Domestic and European, Stock and modified, 2 wheel, and 4 wheel, Street drivers, and Trailer Queens. And the funny part........we're all in the same class!
This "show" is a regional event, promoted by an individual that solicits restaurants as a venue for one of his events. (presumably, to increase that restaurants' business for that day) He is a one man show, and quickly "judges" each car based on his International Show Car Association certification.
When he gets to me, I ask him "how do you keep the differences between these cars/motorcycles" on a level enough playing field to fairly judge them for what they are?"
He takes on his best authoritative pose and begins to use my car as an example:
Well he says, the first thing I take into consideration is the whole car. I look at the paint, trim, glass, wheels, and tires. (all of which my car had)
I look then to the interior, trunk, then to the engine. Lastly I look at detail."Now take your car for instance, I see it's got a roll bar, so I'm gonna look at it as a race car. I'm gonna ck the safety features that are missing, your certification on your restraints, the mounting of your roll bar and your fuel cell." "I'll tell you right now, you have holes in your firewall,...an engine fire will get into the passenger compartment through those holes."
"Your roll bar is improperly mounted, there should be additional rear projecting bars running into the trunk to add support to the main hoop to aid in keeping the roof off your head in the event of a rollover."
(All along while he's critiquing the car, he keeps reassuring me that he's not trying to be a hard ass or anything, which I keep reassuring him that I know that he's not)
"You have removed the SFI certification tags from your restraints, so I'd have to take that into account" I'd move on to your fuel system to see how your fuel cell was mounted, make sure it was safe, plumbed and properly vented and that you have the appropriate anti-rollover measures in place.
As I'm glazing over at all of the B/S,...I seize the next opportunity to inform my judge: (As politely as possible, so as not to jeopardize my chances of getting one of the fine trophies w/ the apple on top.)
Dude! This is a street car!. I drive it everywhere. It is so far from a "Race Car" it isn't even funny. Even it it was (a race car), this is an Applebees parking lot show, NOT an NHRA event. It has a rollbar for the sole purpose of giving me a mount point for the 4 point harnesses that DONT EVEN COME WITH AN SFI RATING IN THE FIRST PLACE!. The missing rear legs are supplemented by tying the main hoop to the factory 3 pt harness upper mount point. I don't want the damn rear bars going into my trunk through the package tray! The "holes" in the fire wall go into the cowl, where the windshield washer hose used to go, and isn't that much of a "fire concern" for me.
I'd think you'd look at the obvious outside body modifications, the interior, and the overall theme I'm trying to convey.
He says back, "well I'm glad you said something, so I'll look at it differently".
When he walks away I'm kinda pissed. I have resigned myself to the fact I'm not gonna get jack, and stand around talking to the other attendees waiting for the judging to end.
There are a whopping 50 cars there. Easily a dozen or so 50k+ street rods.
Another 8-10 late model Mustangs, some sorry assed-Scions w/ the full compliment of scissor doors, hippy joe fluorescent blue lighting pouring out of every opening, multiple woofers booming out some gangsta-crack. Some un-molested model "A's" various street drivers, 5-7 choppers and my morphedite.
And the one car that stands out in the crowd for this one reason in my mind....A twin turbo 69 Camaro "show car" that when I question the owner why he didn't plumb the discharge(s) of the turbo's into an intercooler he replies that "He really doesn't know what I'm talking about, He just took the car to a local shop and that's what he paid them to build" Let's just call him Clueless deep pocket Joe.
I take a quick inventory, and see that I.S.C.A. Dude has expected alot more than he's got, because he's brought 28 trophies.
When the "Awards ceremonies" begin, they announce that there are actually 3 classes, and 28 Trophies: #1. The top 15 overall. #2 The top 10 2000 and up #3 Top Bike. #4 Applebees Managers' Choice, and #5 best in show. ( So basically, all you had to do was show up to this show to win,....well there still was the 50:50 odds to overcome)
The Bikes were awarded first (modest British applause)
The Top 15 came next. I am the 15th to receive my trophy ("Awarded "in No Particular order") I get the hug from the Applbee-ette, The handshake from The Applebee Manager, The Show Judge snaps a pic, yells something Sarcastic about it not being a racecar, and I graciously accept my award.
Reach inside my coat pocket and read from my prepared speech "I'd like to take a moment to thank all of the "little people" that made this day possible" (Naww, not really, but someday......)
A 30 Model A w/ a Cobra engine wins best of show, A Corvette tripped the Applebee's managers fancy.
We all pose for our pictures w/ appletrophies.
I jump in my "Race car" and drive it on Regular gas the 37 miles back home.
Me and my bad-assed top15 trophy w/ the apple on top.
So Now I know what to expect if/when I go to this February's Auto show. I think I'll be better prepared for the Judges next time................
I'll Be drunk.
), roll bar installed by a race shop, etc. 
