- Jul 12, 2006
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It's a fill in the blanks type of a letter. I'll give you an example; which is found on the next line below. 
Dear Ryan,
Normally, it's you writing me a letter, begging me for toys you think you deserve, dispite the fact you've been a worthless ___________ for the past year. But since you're older, I figured you're mature enough to hear a little secret: Every Christmas, while you're nastled in your plastic sheets, I _____ the _____ out of your mom.
Ever wonder why I didn't eat those cookies you made for me? It was because I was getting my _______ sticky. In fact, I visit every house on the planet, and ____ the _____ out of every mother I can find. All that holiday cheer ain't gonna spread itself.
Your mom's not that kind of lady? I say she's like a bowling ball: Gets fingered, ends up in the gutter, and comes back for more. Or maybe she's like a shotgun, a few ______ and she's ready to blow. Either way. She's a wild ________ for my "yule log", and by "yule log" I mean ______.
Oh, and tell your mom about the little surprise I left her this year. It's a swarming case of the ___________. What can I say? You, climb up and down enough chimneys, and you're gonna get dirty. Also, tell her she needs to ______ her _____. Not even Rudolph could light my way - if you catch my drift.
Anyhoo! Time is short, and I've still got a lot of ________ to stuff. I'll be around next year, so try to keep your nose clean. And if Mrs. Claus asks, you haven't seen me.
Ho, ho, ect.,
Santa Claus
Dear Ryan,
Normally, it's you writing me a letter, begging me for toys you think you deserve, dispite the fact you've been a worthless ___________ for the past year. But since you're older, I figured you're mature enough to hear a little secret: Every Christmas, while you're nastled in your plastic sheets, I _____ the _____ out of your mom.
Ever wonder why I didn't eat those cookies you made for me? It was because I was getting my _______ sticky. In fact, I visit every house on the planet, and ____ the _____ out of every mother I can find. All that holiday cheer ain't gonna spread itself.
Your mom's not that kind of lady? I say she's like a bowling ball: Gets fingered, ends up in the gutter, and comes back for more. Or maybe she's like a shotgun, a few ______ and she's ready to blow. Either way. She's a wild ________ for my "yule log", and by "yule log" I mean ______.
Oh, and tell your mom about the little surprise I left her this year. It's a swarming case of the ___________. What can I say? You, climb up and down enough chimneys, and you're gonna get dirty. Also, tell her she needs to ______ her _____. Not even Rudolph could light my way - if you catch my drift.
Anyhoo! Time is short, and I've still got a lot of ________ to stuff. I'll be around next year, so try to keep your nose clean. And if Mrs. Claus asks, you haven't seen me.
Ho, ho, ect.,
Santa Claus
