OK,
So I made a few quick measurements; swapped the new crank pully from the old one, put it on without the cam crank and chain, and distance to the end of the crankshaft was identical (as were the sprockets of course). distance from the oilpan to the balancer was the same with the balancer on all the way w/ the timing cover on and off.
So, the balancer is on as far as it will go, so this leaves only two explanations:
1) Someone broke into my garage and swapped my harmonic balancer for a longer one;
2) The crank seal isn't in as far as the older one; the older one had a different design w/ a flange, whereas the new one doesn't. This is the only explanation that makes any sense to me, and in fact was what I was thinking from the beginning!
To everyone that told me there was no way that the balancer was on all the way, what were you looking at? were you looking at the balancer shaft (which would make sense) and saw the old crank seal wear marks, or were you looking at the timing pointer?
This one looks to be the same, timing pointer relative to the balancer, as mine, so I don't see how it couldn't have been on all the way; I guess I'll just have to eat the cost of the new gaskets and time wasted and put it back together, and if it really is off, I'll find out as soon as I mount the other pulleys. While it does look like the balancer is closer to the cover in this pic than in mine, these are different motors (min is a non-HO) and the timing cover in this picture I guess could be aftermarket or something.
edit: I just measured the crank seals, old and new, and the old one appears to sit about 1/8" further out than the new one. D'OH!!
-Jon