Signs of bad front lower control arms?

I think I have all of the signs of bad front lower control arm bushings but I cannot create any play in the bushing or ball joints with the car jacked up. I.e. pulling in and out on the top and bottom of the tire and putting a jack under the ball joint, to apply and relieve pressure. I can get the lower control arm bushings to move but with a pry bar and there are shiny spots on the k-member that are aligned with the bushings. If I pry the arms over the bushings will touch the k-member. Is that ok, because it has to be happening when I am driving if I have shiny spots next to the bushings?! Three other things are a shaking steering wheel at highway speeds, feathering tire wear and during slow, full one-way turns, sometimes if feels like I am sliding, but I’m not, it’s the front end shifting to one side! Does any body know what I mean?
 
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