what is the funnest thing a cop said to you when you were pulled over?

[Imyourzero]

I was driving home one night going the speed limit when out of the blue flashing light came coming at me from behind. i pull over and the spot light on the cop car is shining in my side rear view window and the cop comes up with his flash light all in my face. Next all i hear is laughing and he yells out says 10 bucks says i'm drunker than you. turns out my buddy was woking the night shift

That would be awesome.

 

[cb18201]

just bad experience with beach patrol and bike cops They act like they got something stuck up their azz around here.

thats because they ride their bikes without seats

 

[randomjoker]

That would be awesome.

Indeed.

 

[HazMat404]

well i have two.....

#1 i was hammered and driving my buddy's amazingly hot sister that i have wanted to do for a good 8 years. she was only married for a month at this time. well we went around some streets around our house going a good 110ish in a 40mph zone.....definately shouldnt have been driving buuuut.....got pulled over and the guy came up to me and said "man, you know you were 'Kiss Me''Kiss Me''Kiss Me''Kiss Me'in flying and i should take you to 'Kiss Me''Kiss Me''Kiss Me''Kiss Me'in jail right??.....how stupid can you be to do that in this area (a pretty rich area)??" me "im so sorry sir, i just met this girl at the bar and she wants to go back to my place" .....well i finally cleared my blurred vision and figure out its my buddy on the PD and knew it was my car and wanted to tell me to slow down. i honestly thought i was being smooth doing that but he noticed my hood and emt sticker when i passed him on the 2 lane road so he knew it was mine and he jsut wanted to warn me and screw aroudn with me a lil. i never regret stuff but that is one night that i wish never happen cause i still wouldnt have a license to this day


#2 more funny than anything. well a ricer and i were in the downtown area of one of the towns nearby and we decided it would be fun to go at it at a light. well we get up to about 70ish (it was decently close) and a cop puts his cherries on. well we both pull over cause we didnt want to run. well the cop comes up to me first (im behind the ricer) and he says, i really really like your car. if you promise never to do that in this town again, now i dont care if you do this in any other town, then i will let you go....thats only cause i like your car tho. im gonna go give this crappy car ahead of you a ticket tho. omg, i was soooooo scared cause i was completely sober and didnt know if he was just screwing aroudn with me or not .....i got lucky


i think a close #3 is i got pulled over at about 2am. i usually turn my car off so the cop doesnt smell it or hear how loud it is and gimme a ticket for that too. well he comes up cause i forgot to shut off my engine and asks...."is this car stock? it doesnt sound like it but i like it........*long pause*.......i know its not stock. lemme ask a few questions and search your car or ur gonna get tickets for lotsa things that arent legal" ......i got outta the car and went and sat on his car while he did his search.




most of the times i get pulled over is complete garbage and said i was swerving for nothing or i was going 3mph over the speed limit and they were just checking if i was drunk/high. i hope this summer isnt bad with my LT's and o/r hpipe cruisin with my buddy that has an '01 cobra with an o/r xpipe

 

[Zero Signal]

Cop - "Is this your car?"
me - "Yeah"
Cop - "Are you suuuure?"

 

[94stang-lover]

i was driving my dodge durange the day i bought it. i just got out of the gas station and forgot to tunr my light on so. the cop pulled me over and asked about license and registration. when he saw that i just bought the car that day he said:

cop: didn't they tell how to trun the lites on ?!?! let me show u .. just turn that lettle switch like this.

me : ooooh. ok

and then he pointed at the seat belt and said: u may need this since u driving without lights!! and if u don't no how to use it i'll be glad to show u 2

 

[nito88stang]

I tried this one and it got me off a ticket:

Bike cop pulls me over and comes to window.

Me: I bet you're gonna sell me a ticket to the bike cops ball huh?
Bike Cop: Bike Cops dont have balls
*silence*
He closes his book, chuckles and tells me to slow it down

 

[TheRedBlur]

"I was chasing you for 15 minutes!!"
he was pissed.
I was out of sight before he got to put his lights on.
Anyways I was going to go to jail for a reckless driving, (it's the law here) he runs up to my car and throws my lisence and registration, etc in my window and tells me to be carefull and takes off.

the luck of the Irish

 

[jmuva44]

One time I got pulled over for speeding and the cop tried to get me for everything that he could, including speeding, DUI, Inspection sticker, seat belt and......a Bic pen.

I had one of those clear Bic pens laying in the compartment under the stereo. He saw it and immediately backed off. He was like, 'whats that!?' I told him it was a freakin pen but he didnt believe me. He pointed his flashlight on it and sure enuf, it was a pen and not a syringe.

 

[94GTLaserRC]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA....I'm going to go ahead and have to bring out the flag on this one! That would NEVER happen to any of us except in a dream!!! Unless the female cop was a gargantuan 45 year old she-ogre.

Oh...OK, you got me!

But..Im sure I had a few of you convinced, (I know one for sure, but I wont mention the name )

RC

 

[DougNuts]

"Why did you stop?" and "You weren't going to stop were you?"

After blowing by my friends 200SX, we made a left turn and were coming up to a stoplight. The light turned yellow so I started braking and as usual, I checked my mirror. I saw a crown vic with alternating headlights coming pretty quick. I knew I was screwed and really pissed since my friend had went through the light and I had stopped. Next thing I know, the cop goes screeching by me on the left side, backs up and yells "Why did you stop?" Then he backs up and gets behind me so I'll pull over when the light changes.

His first words when he came up to the car where, "You weren't going to stop were you?" To which I responded "I didn't even see you until I stopped." Then he said "I got you both going 47 in a 25 (on campus)" I knew that was since I absolutely smoked my friend so I said "You had time to shoot us both?" His response, "You were both going the same speed." To this day I still want to kick that old geezer in the nuts. He must have thought he was in a high speed persuit and almost totaled my car in the process.

 

[69learpilot]

In high school I had a S-10 with a 4.3 nitrous few toys well I had a sticker that said no fat chicks truck wil scrape.He said does that mean my sister cant ride i said does the sticker purtain to her he just laughed and handed me my ticket.

 

[Stangfreak95]

Last summer, when I had my little accident in the rain with my bald BFG Drag Radials , I had to call the cops. Was early morning in the beginning of traffic. So I'm there waiting, he shows up. Just one guy about 35years old. I'm 24. Looks at the car, looks at the tires . Tells me " wow those tires are completely bald ". I say " I know, thats how they're suppose to be when you buy them and etc." Looks at my front which were Brand spanking new and says " those are a little better" I'm like "Come on those are brand new, I bought them a month ago. Alright I'm gonna admit that the rear are a little used but thats pretty much how the thread is when you purchase them." Then I make up a story about what makes my DR's legal and that I paid a lot of money for them. Now I was worried that he was gonna write BALD TIRES in his report to avoid me from getting insurance money or something but he didnt.

So we're waiting for the towtruck. He goes in his pocket, lights up a cigarette and we start talking about my car. NOTE: I'm not in a little redneck town (no offense) and an officer that lights a cigarette to chat with you is very uncommun up here. So now he says "Those tires are crap in the water. The water cant evacuate blah blah blah but MAN those propably stick like hell on a hot sunny day ! " I was laughing inside my head.

 

[David R]

I tried this one and it got me off a ticket:

Bike cop pulls me over and comes to window.

Me: I bet you're gonna sell me a ticket to the bike cops ball huh?
Bike Cop: Bike Cops dont have balls
*silence*
He closes his book, chuckles and tells me to slow it down

LMFAO

 

[stlboarder]

I was in a deserted parking lot and did a quick u-turn and swung the back end around. Then in front of me I see the lights. And when he got to my door the first thing he said was "How many times have you tried to kill yourself tonight?" I was gonna be a smart ass and start to make things up and count them off but I decided that wouldn't be smart.

 

[urban96]

The other day i was speedin a little (70 in a 55), I passed over a bridge only to find a a cop with a radar gun on the other side laying in wait. The cop pulled me over, walkes up to the car, and asked, "What's your hurry?"

Me: "I'm late for work."

Officer: "Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"

Me: "I'm a rectum stretcher."

Officer: "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

Me: "I start by inserting one finger,then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch, until it's about 6 foot wide."

Officer: "And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot 'Kiss Me''Kiss Me''Kiss Me''Kiss Me''Kiss Me''Kiss Me''Kiss Me'?"

Me: "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge....."














ok ok its not my story but i thought u would like it

 

[ARed1995GT]

LOL!

 

[TheDamned]

Last summer, when I had my little accident in the rain with my bald BFG Drag Radials , I had to call the cops. Was early morning in the beginning of traffic. So I'm there waiting, he shows up. Just one guy about 35years old. I'm 24. Looks at the car, looks at the tires . Tells me " wow those tires are completely bald ". I say " I know, thats how they're suppose to be when you buy them and etc." Looks at my front which were Brand spanking new and says " those are a little better" I'm like "Come on those are brand new, I bought them a month ago. Alright I'm gonna admit that the rear are a little used but thats pretty much how the thread is when you purchase them." Then I make up a story about what makes my DR's legal and that I paid a lot of money for them. Now I was worried that he was gonna write BALD TIRES in his report to avoid me from getting insurance money or something but he didnt.

So we're waiting for the towtruck. He goes in his pocket, lights up a cigarette and we start talking about my car. NOTE: I'm not in a little redneck town (no offense) and an officer that lights a cigarette to chat with you is very uncommun up here. So now he says "Those tires are crap in the water. The water cant evacuate blah blah blah but MAN those propably stick like hell on a hot sunny day ! " I was laughing inside my head.

haha

I never never saw a cop lights a cigarette here

 

[Mustang5L5]

cop: BUL$hit!!! you 'Kiss Me''Kiss Me''Kiss Me''Kiss Me'ing liar, lol

The cop said "lol" ???

 

[red94fiveo]

and then he pointed at the seat belt and said: u may need this since u driving without lights!! and if u don't no how to use it i'll be glad to show u 2

"If you don't know how to fasten your seatbelt please ring the call button and tommy will come hit you over the head with a tack hammer cause you are a RETARD!"

#1: After my wreck (my car + one curb + one small tree) two years ago when I had just bought the car, the cop finishes running my stuff and comes back to talk to me. I am a nervous wreck by this time and the first thing he says to me with a toally straight face is, "do you know you have 3 outstanding warrants?". I flipped, then he started laughing and said he was just f***ing with me. He ended up being pretty cool and didn't write me a ticket, plus wrote the accident up as under $500 damage so it doesn't go in the state records or on insurance.

#2: Got pulled over for going across a set of railroad tracks with the crossing guard down, train was stopped like 100 feet away. This was after I has just gotten two tickets in less than a month. Anyway, he runs my stuff and comes back and all he says is, "Well its Christmas time, so I'm only going to give you a warning, besides, with your driving record, I'm suprised you still have a license!"