Well you suck! I actually thought Jason S. was your best bet. Hey they all call me bald just cuz I cut mine on a 1 guard. Go as a male porn star. Hire Laser and Bakos to follow you around and keep you "fluffed"
or just wear a wig and tape your nostrils closed. but, I am gambling that there will be at least 4 MJ's at your party
Oh, and for your dumbass reference.....that one pic is not gladiator. Its Scorpion King 2 and the actor is Randy Couture.....UFC badass. Duh.
Your mastery of the Chinese language is gettin' better Doc, but it's still a little rough. I believe it's "Aahso" not "Assho" I'd post up a pic of myself, but it would probably break all yalls monitors.