Yaa, from the Mustang Chef

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I just cleaned my entire house.

I've learned that over-the-toilet cabinets were actually designed as a means of tricking people into accidentally dropping things into the toilet pee-water below. I've also learned to now keep the toilet lid shut when it's not in use.

I know a dude that can lick his own man-boobs. He showed me this while at work. Thereafter, I ran away into a corner, curled up in a ball, and began rocking back and forth while trying to stifle my own traumatized sobs.

I am still convinced that Paris Hilton is a post-op shemale.