You Know You Drive A Ricer If......

Discussion in '1996 - 2004 SN95 Mustang -General/Talk-' started by AndyG47, Jun 27, 2005.


  1. AndyG47

    AndyG47 Member

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    I JUST HAD TO POST THIS..... :D :rlaugh: :lol:

    Please keep in mind that I pulled this from many posts off a Dodge Dakota site. I was looking for a trunk lid liner in yahoo and saw this headline "You know you drive a ricer if..." I just had to look.

    SO. HERE GOES......

    if your speakers are bigger than your wheels.

    if you can put your head in your exhaust tip.

    if you can't fit your hand in the engine compartment.

    if you think 100hp is a lot

    If your engine is smaller than a bottle of coke

    if you can pull a string to wind it up.

    If you think that "Stickers" are a major mod.

    If you have a sticker that says "Got NOS?" and
    you dont even have it.

    If you can push it around the parking lot like a shopping cart with that rear wing......

    "Powered by Honda" sticker on a .....yep, a Honda...

    "If speed kills then honda owners must live forever"

    H.O.N.D.A.
    Hold On Not Done Accelerating

    C.I.V.I.C.
    Can I Violate Inocent Christians?
    sorry lol

    PRELUDE
    PRE Lubricated under developed Engine

    Accord...According to the time slip....IT's SLOW

    S.I.
    Slow Indeed

    A.C.C.O.R.D.
    Anemic Car Can't Outrun Reliable Dodge

    you only need one header

    when you and your buddy can pick up your car and move it out of your parking spot

    The Rims cost more than the car!

    you change the soy sauce every 3 months or 3000 miles, which ever comes first.

    the kid next door can do a better burn out on his bicycle.

    you have a VTEC sticker on a pre-VTEC car.

    someone asked you to open the hood and you don't know how because you have never looked at that part of your car before and after you get the hood open you can't find the engine

    you are beaten by a ford ranger

    you have a "Powered by honda" sticker on your toyota

    you get pulled over for accelerating too slow

    one of the factory options was sushi and an eggroll.

    your choices of fuel are: Brown, White, or Instant.

    SMALL SIDE STORY: (not written by me)
    A bunch of my freinds worked at an auto parts store in high school and one day i was in b.s.ing with one of em when this guys comes in... He goes up to my freind at the parts counter as i retreated to an aisle. "yeah, im looking to get some new tires and wheels for my car"
    "ok sir, what year make and model is it?"
    "its a 93 ford festiva, im looking to get some bigger wheels, maybe some lower profile tires"
    "well it looks like youve got 12 in stock wheels on there"
    "yeah, i was thinking maybe a 13 or 14 inch wheel"
    "well sir, we dont really carry much in those sizes they arent too popular"
    "what about those ones?"pointing at the wall
    "uhhh, well those are trailer wheels"
    "oh"
    after that i was laughing too hard to remember what happened after, but all i remember is he was a tall white guy with a mullet... driving a festiva... lookin for some performance


    Your lawnmower and/or chainsaw have a deeper, throatier tone than your car.

    You looked long and hard for that 5hp model

    You hate when it rains because you have to stand behind the car and pull the little string to get your car started.

    You start your car to warm it up and go back into the house and your parents ask you to put the weed eater away when you’re done.

    You drive by a park and people start swatting because the sound of your car makes them think bugs are buzzing around their heads.

    The only thing louder than your coffee-can muffler is the sound of the metal on metal grinding sound the 8-12" subs stuffed in back make as they shake every bolt holding your car together loose.

    when you drive down the street your muffler sounds like QUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

    You have a five inch exhaust tip and the rest of your exhaust is one inch.

    You put clear lights and a lowering kit on your car and you call it "HIGH PERFORMANCE".

    when your bottle of soda displaces more than your cars engine

    you own stock in Uncle Ben.

    Uncle Ben IS your uncle.

    your exhaust tip has "Maxwell house" or "Folgers" written on it.

    your car is covered in pollen.

    you start your car in the morning and your neighbor yells "turn off the d*mn leaf blower/weedeater!! its 7 am!!"

    when asked what kinda mods you have, the first 3 words of your reply contain "neon". I HAVE NEONS :D

    your race car is the 4 door accord your mom used to pick you up at school in.

    you get those lightweight seats that dont match your interior, yet put on many extra pounds of audio equipment, useless fiberglass, and large shiny muffler tips

    you have a sticker that says "heartbeat of Tokyo" !!!!
  2. AndyG47

    AndyG47 Member

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  3. '66 coupe

    '66 coupe Founding Member

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    WTF?!!
    A LOT of those were stupid. But this one makes absolutely no sense.

    "You stole 5 minutes of my life and I want them back!!!

    Eh, I would've wasted them anyway" - Hanz Moleman
  4. AndyG47

    AndyG47 Member

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    Hey, don't blame me I just copied and pasted the whole thing. Oh, listen there goes a ricer past my bedroom window right now.
  5. Sage427

    Sage427 New Member

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    lol i could see some comedian like Jeff Foxworthy taking a topic like this and running with it. "Ya might be a ricerburner if. . ."


    You stop at your local Japanese restaurant to get gas'd up! :D

    You need a 4.56 rear end with a 6pd tranny just to accelerate!! :rlaugh:

    An episode of Pimp My Ride CHANGED YOUR LIFE!!! :lol:
  6. AndyG47

    AndyG47 Member

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    This is good!!!

    Everbody if you can think of one...

    "Post 'em if ya got 'em!"
  7. '66 coupe

    '66 coupe Founding Member

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    ...Your parents are too embarrassed to let you park the car in their driveway.

    ...Homeless people laugh at your car.

    ...Your car was on an Autozone commercial

    ...You have five 10" subs, Huge rims, and a 50lb wing, but you take out the spare and the backseat to reduce weight for racing.

    ...You bought the car because it came with a 10yr/100k mile LIMITED DRIVETRAIN warranty. :rlaugh:

    Hey, these aren't that hard to think of! :banana:
  8. AndyG47

    AndyG47 Member

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    Good! Keep 'em coming!
  9. mustangmat99

    mustangmat99 New Member

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    coming from someone who is dogging ricers for having neons all over there car...? and yea some of those were stupid, but! the first ones were pretty d*** funny
  10. AndyG47

    AndyG47 Member

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    Maybe my car is turning into a ricer :rlaugh:


    YKYDARI:

    your spoiler came off an airplane :shrug:

    a fat kid can run faster and burn outbatter than your car can :shrug:

    IDK. I'm not good at these things
  11. Stangfanatic98

    Stangfanatic98 New Member

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    ...you have a MONSTERTACH for an automatic transmission
  12. Crai-zy horse

    Crai-zy horse New Member

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    you have more stickers than horsepower.

    you have no idea what low end torque is.
  13. '66 coupe

    '66 coupe Founding Member

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    ...the guys in your car club look like the Poser Mobile guys from tv.

    ...you need a translator to read the stickers on your car.

    ...your "high performance" ride starts to shake at 75mph.

    ...you've never thought of just pulling into a parking space, instead of backing in. <---------(seriously, WTF is with that?) :shrug:

    ...you got a job at Wal Mart so you could get a discount on all your mods.
  14. AP1995V6

    AP1995V6 New Member

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    ...somene mistakes your car for a christmas tree.

    ...you have dual a-pillar pods, tach, a dash pod, and a turbo timer for a stock engine.

    ...you are seen bottoming out your car with a 4" drop while ride through a Wal-Mart parking lot.

    ...a fart cannon still doesn't make your exhaust loud.
  15. Stangfanatic98

    Stangfanatic98 New Member

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    ...going 45mph in second gear is your idea of saving gas
    ...revving at a cobra, camaro, or ram-air trans am at a stoplight while 5 rows back is the perfect way to show how large your penis is
  16. Crai-zy horse

    Crai-zy horse New Member

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    ... you got your car dynoed but it must have been acting up that day because you know you are pushing alot more horsepower than 120 at the wheels
  17. Sage427

    Sage427 New Member

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    . . . Last week your friend bought an '04 Hyundai Tiburon "GT" , pulls in your driveway to "show it off", and says guess what I outran today?!?! "A newer Cobra"!! :rlaugh:

    Though i just don't see that happening. . . :nonono:
  18. AndyG47

    AndyG47 Member

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    You Know you drive a ricer if...

    ...You own my car!! :rlaugh: :rlaugh: :banana:

    WOOT! NEONS!
    [​IMG]

    NEONS AND A BIG EXHAUST TIP!!! :rlaugh: :rlaugh:
    [​IMG]

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha :rlaugh: :rlaugh:
  19. huRACEmentPSR

    huRACEmentPSR Banned

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    i heard this one by a stand up comedian...
    h.o.n.d.a.
    Historically
    Orientals
    Never
    Drove
    Automobiles
  20. zincyellow03

    zincyellow03 New Member

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    My dead ho likes Chicago
    I perfer my rice with chicken...

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