at what point in your life did you grow up

[gingerbreadman]

I am wondering because i am 23 and 24 in a few weeks and things are defintly not slowing down, I have friends my age, older and younger and we are in my oppinion just nuts. In my town here we have a club called the max, and on wednesay nights they have $1 a beer draft. It gets packed by 9 pm and stays packed till closing. We started off at my place, there musta been 15 of us here passing around a couple bottles and shotgunning beers outside in my residential neighbourhood with 3 stereos blasting. from there we all went down to the bar, I was with 2 other guys we stoped at the gas station my friends sis works at for some seriously discounted gas while all the others went to the bar, wouldnt ya know it but we pull up just as my buds are walking in the door and theres now a lineup 100 feet long meaning not getting in all night

Well since were plenty full of liquid courage we budge to the front of the line and around here thats started big time brawls in the past but we got away with it and got into the bar.

Ill try and keep this long winded drunken follishness bar story short but Me and one of my buds got kicked out together and were full fledged willing to draw dukes with the bouncers till the cops came around and we "blended" away, meanwhile prior my bud jon got thrown out in a full nelson for punching a wall or something and his arm is now in a cast (we droped him off at the hospital at 3:30am) I managed to talk a rather unattractive individual into a un appropriate act in a stairwell outside the bar ( I will never hear the end of that) I also went to school this morning intoxicated after less then 2.5 hrs sleep. I havent called the rest of my buddies to see how they faired but i think a couple of them went to the drunk tank

My question to you guys is when did things all change from where im at in my growing up? did it happen all at once or was it a gradual thing? any regrets with growing up or any regrets with what this foolishness brought you?

-gbm- <-----hungover bad :damnit:

 

[draco_1967]

We don't grow up, we just get older. Life is far too short to grow up too much

 

[Realmongo]

I will let you know when I do.



But seriously, get yourself into school and work hard at it. Then get out and see the rest of the world. Then you can decide in what direction you want to grow up. Don't waste your time drinking in dives or you will be looking at the same scene 10 years from now.

 

[Max Power]

I didn't do that when I was 18, much less 43.

 

[StangDreamin']

Why would I want to grow up????

My title says it all!

j/k..

When I had turned just barely 15; an incident happened that "aged" me more than I would wish on anybody. Not interested in going into specifics; just happy to say that I was the one who survived it and didn't get incarcerated, either! Didn't get my "youth" back until I was about 19, though; and shortly after I met the future Mrs StangDreamin' and began living a more "domestic" life. Had more than a couple "wild times" since then; always swore it wouldn't happen again. I don't remember when; but somewhere along the line, it stopped happening again.

Now, I guess I'm just an Old Fart. But I'm still younger than Chepsk8 or my Fuzzy Friend; yet I don't get into as much trouble as they do!

 

[2nd Mustang]

Wow, that sounds like one wasted night. Take it from a guy who used to party every night, it got me nowhere. You think you're having fun, but all the good ones go home with the sober guys. Don't worry though, you have to get your ya-yas out somehow. It'll all blow over and then you'll find yourself as a regular guy.

 

[bnickel]

for me it was after i nearly killed myself for the last time driving home from a bender, which also happened to be a few months after i lost a couple of friends, one died and the other i just figured out he was a total prick when i was sober, which wasn't very often. i guess it also helped a little after my little bro got his second DWI. the main reason though was all the medication i was taking for my back problems and the fact that i had just had a little girl and didn't want her to grow up without a dad.

Trust me, i was (am?) a 100% total bonafied alcoholic. i never wanted to be, i just wanted to have a good time and hang out and get drunk with my buds, that was it. it just kind of happened, i'm just glad i realized it before it really did kill me. once or twice a year i'll go out drinking with my friends, sometimes i'll get a decent buzz, but most of the time i really don't even want to drink more than one or MAYBE two beers.

i did quit almost completely cold turkey overnight. it was pretty much like just after high school when quit smoking pot, because i realized where that was headed as well, when i was at a party one night and some friends asked if i wanted to do some coke with them. i was like ok yeah, let's go. i chickened out which was a very good thing, the next week i was pretty much done with smoking pot. i was still drinking though.

it's time to grow up when you start asking yourself if want to live or if you want to die in a horrific blaze from running your car into an emabankment at 100 plus or something, or when you get tired of trying to figure out how you got home and whether or not you killed someone on the way home without knowing it and spending hours looking at your car trying to find any signs of wreckage or blood or something.

 

[iskwezm]

Me and my G/F talk about this,or argue about this all the time.She likes the club/party scene, i think its a waste of money.She say's "yeah,but its fun and you dont like to do anything", ok so where did 13 years of partying and drinking get you??A DUI?Higher insurance?And looking like a ass on a job inteview when they pull your record.I might not party but i didnt blow 50+ bucks a night drinking with nothing to show for it.Yeah I do drink when i go to the river or a small party,but it gets old.But youll learn

 

[gingerbreadman]

I will let you know when I do.



But seriously, get yourself into school and work hard at it. Then get out and see the rest of the world. Then you can decide in what direction you want to grow up. Don't waste your time drinking in dives or you will be looking at the same scene 10 years from now.

Mongo, I tottaly see what your saying, I know many people who this is all there doing, they have go nowhere low paying jobs no ambitions. I have had 2 good decent paying jobs, I have set myself up with RRSP retirement stuff, i have a nice nest egg for a downpayment on my house when the time comes I have a garage full of tools, do many hobbies and am almost finished my second week of school in the trade i want to be in, I am doing well in my class even though we are still on the basics.

I really do think I am headed down a good track. Even tho I still like my partying. Do you belive for some people its possible to have the best of both worlds?

as for the drinking and driving, I have have never done it and my group anyways we never do, we always pre arrange a DD. I aint gonna say thats the norm for around here cause it aint, thats why theres 4 road blocks after the bars close on the way home.


-gbm- <------- just slept 12.5 hours

 

[mdjay]

Well I'm 38. I have the spirit still to go out and have fun, and do so once or twice a month. I think around 30 you start realizing there is more to life then just partying. If marriage and kids come into play, they'll ground you a bit. The added responsibility in time and money just leaves less room for the party scene. However it sincerely enrichens your life! I think it's sad to go out and see the people I saw 10-15 years ago that are still caught up in all that!

 

[zookeeper]

You're still pretty young, but here's some advice: sit down (while you're sober) and start making a list of things you want out of life. Write down both material possesions (house, Ferrari, your own business, etc) as well as accomplishments like having a son who may grow up to be (you fill in the blank), or getting a better education. Then next to these items, see if becoming an alcholic (like or not, that's what you are becoming) will help you achieve any of those goals. Look around that local bar next time and see if you can find a guy in his 40's or 50's that's a career drinker. Does that guy look happy? I've worked with guys like that and they generally are on their 3rd wife, pay most of their checks in child support, never see their kids, and are on the verge of getting fired at any day from a crappy job. The funny thing about life is that when you recieve advice in your youth, you never take it and by the time you do, it's too late.

 

[jikelly]

I am 34 now and I have to say I was never into the bar scene. I've found that I'd rather stay home with a few good friends and knock a few back than go out. That's especially true since I found a girlfriend.

The club scene is fun (I love going dancing), but now I kinda feel out of place. Maybe it's because the last couple years everyone there has started to look like they are 12..

I think as you get older you find other things to do with that energy, and you start to pay more attention to the potential consequences of your actions. I have gotten into bike riding and there is always the stang, although it is getting harder to find disserted roads to drive crazy on. The SCCA comes in handy for that.

 

[mustangdave]

Well, I'm 41 and in school now. It never interested me before but life experience has broken me into realizing you can only go so far without a college degree.
When you are in your thirties you realize, the older you get, the more fights hurt. Then you never do it again.
I partied all through my twenties, (pot, coke, acid, crystal, pills,etc...) and sold my share. I quit all of that overnight when I found out my name was on a list to be busted one day ( i didn't get caught because I got rid of everything). Owning a house will also curb your appetite when you realize you could lose your home over some stupid drugs.
I still drink on Friday nights but that's about it. Haven't been to a club in a almost a decade. I think for most people, sometime in their thirties, they stop trying to kill themselves. Some people never lead that lifestyle and some never stop.
My only advice is get at least 4 years of college as early as you can: it makes one heck of a difference in your income. I feel kind of stupid going to college at my age, but hey, I'm on the dean's list and most of the kids are barely passing their courses because they won't apply themselves. I never felt guilty about partying but I do have major regrets about my education. Finally, sometime in my early thirties my brain finally said NEVER drink and drive. I haven't since.

 

[krash kendall]

Well, I remember when The Max was still The Blue Max back in '95 and eight or so of us went on a New Years Eve road trip in a Ford van from Vancouver to Kamloops for some real adventure. After all but myself and one other were booted out (on the ice covered steps of course) we decided to go around town. It was already passed midnight and I had never kissed so many good looking girls in my life so I had my fill of that joint. We had to take the van across the street to pick up the other six as they weren't allowed back on the property and eventually we were pulled over by the cops who told us to immediately leave town and go back to Vancouver (they were having a busy night) or we would all be going to jail. Me and my couch were eventually dropped off in Aldergrove around 8am.

That was then and I can see nothing has changed in that scene. I never expected it to. Yet I still see people my age still pretending to be right out of high school while I have moved on. A full time job and some good financial commitments plus goals that extand farther than next Friday ground you a little bit and help keep you focused.

 

[gingerbreadman]

see if becoming an alcholic (like it or not, that's what you are becoming) will help you achieve any of those goals.

Do you really think my actions are leading me into alcoholism? iv never had being drunk get in the way of anything seriously, such as iv never missed a shift at work or got in trouble with the law due to booz,

As for drugs I have done nothing but pot and at that i can count on one hand how many times iv done it, dont like it much doesnt have any effect on me.

I would like a serious discussion here,dont hold back im not offended by what anyone says or thinks about me.


-gbm-

 

[gingerbreadman]

Well, I remember when The Max was still The Blue Max back in '95 and eight or so of us went on a New Years Eve road trip in a Ford van from Vancouver to Kamloops for some real adventure. .

Oh man the max is the dirtiest hole in town here, it attracts probly the youngest crowd out of all the bars in kamloops here. Actually 2 weeks ago on wednesday there was a incedent that got them in the paper, something bout a riot but I suspect the cops blew it way out of proportion. But man the drinks are cheap cheap. like i said wednesdays singles of draft are $1 and doubles (pints) are $2 not to mention the $3 shooter of the week. there is a $2 cover charge but man for $10-$15 you can get probly as messed up as you'd want to

-gbm-

 

[zookeeper]

Do you really think my actions are leading me into alcoholism? iv never had being drunk get in the way of anything seriously, such as iv never missed a shift at work or got in trouble with the law due to booz,

As for drugs I have done nothing but pot and at that i can count on one hand how many times iv done it, dont like it much doesnt have any effect on me.

I would like a serious discussion here,dont hold back im not offended by what anyone says or thinks about me.


-gbm-

I'm glad to hear you're not offended, since that's never my intention. I like reading your posts here and think you sound like a good, hard-working guy. But yes, if alcohol is so vital a part of an evening out that you feel out of place without it, then by definition, you are an alcoholic. You don't need to be a gutter bum to be one, I worked with a guy once that showed up for work every single day, yet he got stone-drunk every nite. By the time he retired, he had no license, no car and lived in a pay-by-the-week motel. Still does last I heard. He was and is a party animal, he can outdrink anyone I ever met. But he also has kids he's never met, by women he only knew briefly and paid child support until about three years prior to retiring. Hey, don't get me wrong, I have no problem with a few beers, and I've even driven home a few times when I shouldn't have. But I hate hangovers, I'm too busy blowing money on my car to buy too much beer, and I have the number one reason on earth to NOT drink too much, a son. I think you're making wise choices with your career and your future, and you'll make good ones about your choices of drinking with a little self-control. Besides, have you ever been sober around your buddies who are sh1t-faced? They're hilarious!

 

[gingerbreadman]

But yes, if alcohol is so vital a part of an evening out that you feel out of place without it, then by definition, you are an alcoholic. You don't need to be a gutter bum to be one,

Well If i go to a club as a DD or dont drink for whatever reason of course im not gonna have as much fun or feel in place or get as crazy and fun to be around. I do however DD for my friends when it comes around to my turn. But can someone here tell me honestly they holler and talk with the strippers and have as much fun at the strip club without a good solid buzz?

Is attributing my wild and crazy drunking GBM stories to being just youthfull a sign of alcoholism? could that be a sub consious cover? I am friends with plenty of older poeple (40+) and they all have some pretty crazy youthfull stories they tell, I wouldnt call any of them alcoholics.

Do i need for every event to include booz? such as hunting/fishing/4x4ing dinner out or whatever? no i dont. I do include it sometimes depending on the situation and crowd im in. could this be a cover again? Id have to admit that if I went fishing or 4x4ing with my "drinking" buddies that id be most inclined to do so and its doubtfull i wouldnt. does this make me an alcholic?

iv heard the term "theres no such thing as a big or small alcholic" If this was the case and the definition of a alcholic was as you said then man i gotta say damn near half my generation are alcoholics. should we all quit cold turkey and join up AA? obviously the answer is no.

In my oppinion id have to say alcohole effects people differently and it has alot to do with genetic makup and general state of mind. I know My temperment in social situations is quit and kinda shy ( i get that from my moms side) not saying im a pushover because I have a very oppiniated side to me along with a healthy sized temper (i get that from my dads side) i find that alcohole takes that shy edge off me and my "true" self comes out in social sitautions. You've all read my posts from the past and see me as a class clown, funney, confident, somewhat crazy yet got my head screwed on straight kinda guy and thats my true self around family and friends and comfortable places and situations. so does "using" alcohole to overcome these inhabitions i have show trademarks of being an alcoholic? and remember by definition theres "no degree of an alcoholic"

Im just trying to put a different twist on this topic, can you see my point?

-gbm-

 

[2nd Mustang]

and talk with the strippers and have as much fun at the strip club without a good solid buzz? -gbm-

I can tell you from personal experience, a good buzz and dim lights at the strip clubs causes one to wake up in the morning and almost faint!

Nothing good ever came from alcohol for me! I don't drink or smoke anymore, so lead a quiet happy life. Don't go overboard and you'll survive, we all did.

 

[StangDreamin']

Josh;

When you were talking about getting a good buzz on to lower your inhibitions; you were talking about me - a long time ago. But, like 2ndmustang intimated, along with the lowered inhibitions comes some pretty poor judgement! You can and sometimes will wake up in the morning wondering where you are, who's next to you, where did she come from, and who (or how many) else have woke up the same way next to the same person.
Back when I was young and single; AIDS was just being talked about.... but some of the other social diseases that floated across the southern border seemed a lot worse, and it would scare me straight, for a while. But, soon I was "back at it". About that time, my ol' drinkin'-and-skirt-chasin' buddy introduced me to his little sister. You've had to have heard the rest of that story (including the part about our 22nd wedding anniversary being five weeks from yesterday); but the fact is that hooking up with her likely saved me from coming down with something that was "un-recoverable". Not everybody is as lucky as I was; so I can only preach that you not let yourself get so wasted that you lose all self-control (like I used to do).
Does that mean that I've never gotten thoroughly hammered since then? Yeah, sure, if you want to believe that. I've awakened with my head in the toilet - and the mess in the water came out of me - more times then a reasonable adult is ever gonna admit. But, one day, it just shut off. I couldn't look my wife in the eyes knowing that she knew why I felt like I did; knowing that she'd be watching me make excuses on the phone to my boss - why I couldn't get to work that day. And it just shut off.
Nowadays, I'll still go on "party weekends"; but now I watch everybody else moon the camcorders (I have videotape proof that I have more 'nads than a$$). I tend to avoid the jello shooters and tequila-spiked beers; no more home-made wild punches for me. I'll sip a little whiskey and water 'til I end up really tired; and end up in my own bed - even if it's a "stag weekend". Is that the perfect solution for everybody? I don't think so; but at least I know that I'm not gonna get so wasted that I don't where I am or who's next to me the next morning!

I'm not gonna say that you're an alcoholic (he says as he cracks his 4th beer of the night). I'm just saying that what you're doing to yourself may be "improving your social skills", but it's d**n sure blowing away a big chunk of your ability to reason! And that, my friend, is just as easily a way to kill yourself as pickling your liver or plowing into a bridge abutment.


Jimmy

I can't resist this: Besides, when the female party-goers start doing their rendition of "Girls Gone Wild"; I can still remember what they looked like the next morning. And it's fun to watch the guys who thought certain girls were HOT! To say nothing of remembering which ones really are