Carburetors and Breasts

krash kendall

krash kendall

Active Member
Nov 19, 2004
1,258
0
36
Aldergrove, B.C. Canada
#1
A man who compared a woman's chest to a carburetor has won an annual contest celebrating the worst writing in the English language.

Dan McKay, a computer analyst from North Dakota, beat thousands of entrants to the annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest run by San Jose University with this bit of prose:

"As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual."
 

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#2
:rlaugh: Here are some other good ones from the contest:
Winner: Romance
Billy Bob gushed like a broken water main about his new love: "She's got long, beautiful, drain-clogging hair, more curves than an under-the-sink water trap, and she moves with the ease of a motorized toilet snake through a four-inch sewer line, but what she sees in me, a simple plumber, I'll never know."
Glenn Lawrie
Chung-buk, South Korea


Runner-Up
"Oh my God!" Amber whispered as the compressor throbbed to life, shuddered rhythmically towards its inevitable conclusion, and shot ninety pounds of sultry air through custom-bored, cold-drawn, boss-lock-fitted crimp-couplings as Chuck Key glanced up with a smile that only tire shop guys can smile.
Jere Hudson
Ashland, OR
 
#3
"As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual."
Click to expand...
Ahhhhhhhhh..........Reminds me of SuperDave fondling his water pump's weep hole! :D
 
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