WHen Im not tryin to race around, I do slow, controlled downshifts. Say, for example, I'm driving my Bronc down an interstate off ramp with lots of run off before the stoplight:
I'll pull in the off ramp doing 70 mph @ 2k rpm in 5th, drop into fourth at aprox. 1500 rpm, and let the clutch out semi- slowly so there is no jerking or slamming of parts, like reversely slipping the clutch. Drop into third at about 1500 again, (riding the brakes gently the whole time). By this time Im usually almost to eh stoplight so I just put it in neutral and coast the rest of the way in.
My general synopsis is, when im not tryin to go fast, I downshift at what sounds to be a little higher than Idle speed. (again, approx 1500). Now, when I AM trying to go fast, I'll toss in a downshift at the point where the powerbadn is starting to fall off, of if Im in too tall of a gear for a hill. You dont want to just drop the clutch and then gas it, coz you'll get a big slam ( like you mentioned) You need to time givign it an appropiate amount of gas, with releasing the clutch, to avoid the driveline slap.