Whatever it is it aint that bad. A firend of my wife and I just had to decide to pull the plug on the ventilator keeping her husband alive, after fighting cancer for 2 1/2 years.He passed shortly there after leaving his wife and their 6 year old child. He would have given anything to live with the petty problems we deal with. Take a step back, take a deep breath, and figure out a solution.
The last time THIS forum had someone posting like you are we lost a troubled soul shortly after his posts. Talk it out. ANYTHING can be talked out. E-mail or PM one of us if you need an anonymous ear to fill or ask for advice. Don't do anything extreme