Top Thirty Mr. T Facts
Every time Mr. T pities the fool, a pornstar regains her virginity. Then proceeds to lose it to Mr. T.
Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.
The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.
Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.
Mr T. appeared on Wheel of Fortune. He asked for a "T" and Pat Sajak replied, "Sorry Mr. T, there are no T's". Mr. T replied I pity you Pat Sajak, and proceeded rip off Pat's head, extend his arms to make him in the shape of a "T" and place him on the board. He then punched Vanna in the face and dragged her off stage by her hair. Vanna is believed to be tied in gold chains in Mr. T's basement to this day.
That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
If you were ever foolish enough to get into a fight with Mr. T, there would only be two hits: Mr. T hitting you, and you hitting the surface of the Sun.
Originally the A-Team was named T-Team and consisted of Mr. T and six of his genetically engineered clones driving around in a van made of pure gold. Producers changed the format after every criminal known to man was killed in the pilot episode.
Mr. T invented Asian people, because he thinks they're cute and don't take up much room.
When Mr. T does his laundry, Snuggles the fabric softening bear jumps off the label on the bottle and hides in fear of being pitied. 138 6.74
When Dr. David Banner gets angry, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets angry, he turns into Mr. T.
Remember, only you can prevent forest fires. But also remember that you can't do ****, because Mr. T is the one who starts them, and no one can stop that crazy fool.
When Mr. T puts on his dancing shoes, you better f-ing run.
The vegetarian group PETA one time tried to establish the catchprase "We PETA the fool who eats animals." Upon learning of this blatant theft of his catch phrase, Mr. T founded McDonalds.
Mr. T knows the muffin man; he had sex with his wife.
The bear went over the mountain to see what he could see. And all that he could see was Mr. T. It was the last thing the bear would ever see.
Mr. T's GMC van does not travel on solid surfaces, but instead mathematical planes. In other words, it can go wherever the hell Mr. T wants.
When Mr. T arrived in Pittsburg, he renamed it Pitysburg. When Mr. T arrived in Secaucus, he renamed it Baracus. And when Mr. T arrived in Delaware, he threw it into the Atlantic Ocean.
Mr. T once got into a fight with a ninja. He killed the ninja, but only after the ninja had cut off two of his fingers. Those fingers grew up to be Gary Coleman and Webster.
Mr. T invented the X-Ray, the G-String, the R-Rating and Jay-Z after a late-night drunken bender caused him to momentarily forget which letter he was.
Mr T defines love as the reluctance to murder. If you're still alive, it's because Mr T loves you.
When Mr. T has nightmares, people around him start dying for no reason.
There is a 11th commandment, edited out of the Bible, that says "None of the above applies to Mr. T."
Mr. T holds the copyright on the letter "T." Every time the letter appears in print, Mr. T receives a check in the mail for $13.50.
Mr. T was the first man on the moon, and claimed it by carving a gigantic "T" stretching from horizon to horizon. In his wisdom, he carved it on the dark side, as a warning to any aliens who might even think of attacking.
The Oxford English Dictionary defines 'nirvana' as, "Being on Mr. T's good side."
Mr. T was once clocked at 100 fps. That's 100 fools pitied a second.
World champion eater Takeru Kobayashi once ate 53.5 hot dogs in 12 minutes. Allotted the same time, Mr. T ate Kobayashi.
Mr. T was actually named after his very rare blood type that proves he is genetically capable of ripping a man's arms out of his sockets. T-positive.
Mr. T took Mother Nature from behind. We refer to the event as the Big Bang.
Every time Mr. T pities the fool, a pornstar regains her virginity. Then proceeds to lose it to Mr. T.
Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.
The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.
Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.
Mr T. appeared on Wheel of Fortune. He asked for a "T" and Pat Sajak replied, "Sorry Mr. T, there are no T's". Mr. T replied I pity you Pat Sajak, and proceeded rip off Pat's head, extend his arms to make him in the shape of a "T" and place him on the board. He then punched Vanna in the face and dragged her off stage by her hair. Vanna is believed to be tied in gold chains in Mr. T's basement to this day.
That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
If you were ever foolish enough to get into a fight with Mr. T, there would only be two hits: Mr. T hitting you, and you hitting the surface of the Sun.
Originally the A-Team was named T-Team and consisted of Mr. T and six of his genetically engineered clones driving around in a van made of pure gold. Producers changed the format after every criminal known to man was killed in the pilot episode.
Mr. T invented Asian people, because he thinks they're cute and don't take up much room.
When Mr. T does his laundry, Snuggles the fabric softening bear jumps off the label on the bottle and hides in fear of being pitied. 138 6.74
When Dr. David Banner gets angry, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets angry, he turns into Mr. T.
Remember, only you can prevent forest fires. But also remember that you can't do ****, because Mr. T is the one who starts them, and no one can stop that crazy fool.
When Mr. T puts on his dancing shoes, you better f-ing run.
The vegetarian group PETA one time tried to establish the catchprase "We PETA the fool who eats animals." Upon learning of this blatant theft of his catch phrase, Mr. T founded McDonalds.
Mr. T knows the muffin man; he had sex with his wife.
The bear went over the mountain to see what he could see. And all that he could see was Mr. T. It was the last thing the bear would ever see.
Mr. T's GMC van does not travel on solid surfaces, but instead mathematical planes. In other words, it can go wherever the hell Mr. T wants.
When Mr. T arrived in Pittsburg, he renamed it Pitysburg. When Mr. T arrived in Secaucus, he renamed it Baracus. And when Mr. T arrived in Delaware, he threw it into the Atlantic Ocean.
Mr. T once got into a fight with a ninja. He killed the ninja, but only after the ninja had cut off two of his fingers. Those fingers grew up to be Gary Coleman and Webster.
Mr. T invented the X-Ray, the G-String, the R-Rating and Jay-Z after a late-night drunken bender caused him to momentarily forget which letter he was.
Mr T defines love as the reluctance to murder. If you're still alive, it's because Mr T loves you.
When Mr. T has nightmares, people around him start dying for no reason.
There is a 11th commandment, edited out of the Bible, that says "None of the above applies to Mr. T."
Mr. T holds the copyright on the letter "T." Every time the letter appears in print, Mr. T receives a check in the mail for $13.50.
Mr. T was the first man on the moon, and claimed it by carving a gigantic "T" stretching from horizon to horizon. In his wisdom, he carved it on the dark side, as a warning to any aliens who might even think of attacking.
The Oxford English Dictionary defines 'nirvana' as, "Being on Mr. T's good side."
Mr. T was once clocked at 100 fps. That's 100 fools pitied a second.
World champion eater Takeru Kobayashi once ate 53.5 hot dogs in 12 minutes. Allotted the same time, Mr. T ate Kobayashi.
Mr. T was actually named after his very rare blood type that proves he is genetically capable of ripping a man's arms out of his sockets. T-positive.
Mr. T took Mother Nature from behind. We refer to the event as the Big Bang.
