let's hear your best ricer jokes.. You might be a ricer if you go to the local speed shop to have stickers installed (actually seen this firsthand).
You might be a ricer if you count stickers as a mod done to your car. And tally them up as 5hp a piece.
Two queers walk into a bar, one asks the other "Hey what do you drive?" The other one answeres "A Honda" The other guy said "oh me too." Ok ok bad joke I know...was just off the top of my head
you might be a ricer if your car says Greedy, HKS, or NOS, when its really just a stock, slow civic that grandma gave to you
seen this on another site one time..... Twas the night before Christmas and caught at the light, Was a domestic V8 and no cops in sight, I will try, I will try, I will try with this small motor, To beat this darn mustang, even with its big blower, As the light goes green and I pull like no joke, The mustang erupts in clouds of tire smoke, Now Smasher, now Revver, now Stroker, now Blitzin, These are the names of my four VTEC pistons, Racing ahead I'm the star of the action, But I know I'm in trouble when that V8 gets traction, Grabbing second, I hear the RPM's sing, My mirror is blocked by my shopping kart wing, I now hear the roar of the big monster gaining, All I can do is keep the four-banger straining, In a second, the shock wave hits with a blast, And my stickers go flying now a thing of the past, Don't bother with third, cause now it's too late, Just try to act cool, like you can relate, Looking up at the taillights as they get smaller, The driver back off just to give me a holler, "You can't win them all," he says in a fling, "You may not win any, in that silly thing," I smiled and revved as he pulled out of sight, With my new mods tomorrow…it will be a better night.
You might be a ricer if... - After the Prom you watch Fast and Furious - All of your four letter words you know are in asian writing on a hood banner - More than half of your car is primer and fiberglass. - Adults won't get in the car with you. - You drive all the backstreets just to avoid speedbumps - Drag strips tech officials laugh when you try to enter. - People hear your fart pipe a long time before they see it. - Vehicle safety warnings are issued by the local authorities when you drive into town. - Your alternator burns out because of all the add ons - The brake pedal on your car are are aluminum - The only thing in your toolbox are zipties for the neon underbody lights - Your taillight covers are alteezas. - There are more than five pep boys receipts for stickers currently on the floorboard of your car - Your wing is higher in inches than your IQ - You can hardly wait to graduate from a remedial school - You drive an Acura Integra, any year - Your dash is painted yellow and your gauge are indiglo - Your car is front wheel drive but you have a back wing - You have wheels that are worth more than the vehicle - You have a Honda product and you think its fast - Your car has Konig Tantrums - Your airdam is bigger than your house - You base your performance specs on X box games - You learn your performance tuning from Gran Turisimo - You associate anything American with "REDNECKS"
these are all great guys........heres one......... Fast Hondas are like the lockness monster. Sure we've all heard of em, but nobody has ACTUALLY seen one.
(To the song, Ice Ice Baby) All right stop, accelarate and listen Toyota is back with a brand new invention Its a 4 cylinder car,u dont have to hold tightly It never goes far, daily or nightly Will it ever go fast? Yo - I don't know Without turbo..this ****'s slow No one would steal it, not even a vandal It goes as slow as a steam engine powered by a candle. CHORUS Rice Rice burner......Rice Rice burner! Rice Rice Burner.......Rice Rice burner Too slow, Too slow... If you have come to the racetrack you are too late, Cause your riceburner will never beat the roaring V8's!!
More on the "ricer if": You claim your car runs 2 or more seconds faster than it actually does. You've got every bolt-on part available for your car and are spraying a 75 shot and running 15.89. You can say with a straight face that "When VTEC kicks in, it feels just like a turbo". You believe that the GorillaChip you bought on Ebay gave you 30hp. Your car has neon lights on it.
