While I was driving down Columbus Road the other day (goinga little
faster than I should have been) I passed over a
bridge only to see a cop on the other side with a radargun laying in
wait.The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and withthat
classic patronizing smirk we all know about, asked
"what's your hurry?" To which I replied, "I'm late for work." To
which he asked, "What do you do?"
"I'm a Rectum Stretcher," I responded.
The cop was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And
just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way
up to 2 fingers, then 3, then 4, then with my whole hand in I work
side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but
surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."
Then the cop asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do
you do with a six-foot a**hole?"
To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him
behind a bridge ..."
Traffic ticket: $95.00
Court costs: $45.00
Look on cop's face ... Priceless
Not really me but a funny story none the less
faster than I should have been) I passed over a
bridge only to see a cop on the other side with a radargun laying in
wait.The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and withthat
classic patronizing smirk we all know about, asked
"what's your hurry?" To which I replied, "I'm late for work." To
which he asked, "What do you do?"
"I'm a Rectum Stretcher," I responded.
The cop was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And
just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way
up to 2 fingers, then 3, then 4, then with my whole hand in I work
side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but
surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."
Then the cop asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do
you do with a six-foot a**hole?"
To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him
behind a bridge ..."
Traffic ticket: $95.00
Court costs: $45.00
Look on cop's face ... Priceless
Not really me but a funny story none the less
