REAL funny personal stories.

[95Vert]

Just felt like a laugh and wanted to know if something funny has happened to you all. I know Joe has some funny stories and will post several.
Mine included a keg of shiner bock and "girls". It was the first time I was drinking(17) and didn't measure myself. I was out by about 11:30. After dancing with every girl I knew and a couple I didn't and throwing up in the bushes, a couple of buddies take me home. As I'm gettin off the car, my buddy asks me if I'm not going to say bye to the girls. Of course, I was like hell yeah, and walk to the back of the car. So I start talking to them and tell one of them that I knew she had liked the dance and that we would hook up sometime, and apparently, I told the other one that she couldn't have me cause I was her friends. Well, I start to walk inside all tough and my buddies are just laughing, I turn back and ask WTF, and they tell me that no one is back there, I was talking to myself. Talk about being foked up.

 

[super302]

hahahah, thats awesome, if i think of one i'll post

 

[donjohn]

95vert, that's freakin hilarious

 

[nmcgrawj]

I turn back and ask WTF, and they tell me that no one is back there, I was talking to myself. Talk about being foked up.

Man i wasnt expecting that! Great one.

 

[bjl95mustang]

After getting drunk I thought my clothes hamper was a toilet. About 1/2 way through i realised it wasn't but by that time i figured the damage was done so I finished. My roommate didn't think it was funny for some reason. I guess i splashed on his clothes too.

 

[95Vert]

C'mon, I'm not the only one here. Bjl, puking is never fun but always funny.

 

[bjl95mustang]

C'mon, I'm not the only one here. Bjl, puking is never fun but always funny.

No, I was doing a #1. I just had to pee really bad and got confused.

 

[95Vert]

Talking about pissing anywhere when drunk. Not too long ago one of my fraternity bros was wasted and had to piss, we stayed with our sister sorority that night at the island, and he just got up and thought he was in the restroom. Well he wasn't, he was pissing all over one of the girls' face. All you heard next was, "ahhhhhhh he's pissing on me, he's pissing on me!!" It was hilarious!!!

 

[1994Vib.RedGT]

Talking about pissing anywhere when drunk. Not too long ago one of my fraternity bros was wasted and had to piss, we stayed with our sister sorority that night at the island, and he just got up and thought he was in the restroom. Well he wasn't, he was pissing all over one of the girls' face. All you heard next was, "ahhhhhhh he's pissing on me, he's pissing on me!!" It was hilarious!!!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH THAT IS HILLARIOUS. Ive been pretty wasted, wasted enough to piss on myself while layed out in my friends backyard, but never pissed on anyone else. Oh a semi funny story though, we were getting hammered at that same friends house and we decided to have a who can take the most pain contest. We shot my buddy in the back (bare) with a paintball gun at close range 9 times, he had scars 6 months later haha, I got his girlfriend to whack me as hard as she could 50 times on my ass with a steel spatchla, haha needless to say sitting the next day was uncomfortable, and then the other guy passed out before it was his turn, so we sharpied his face hahaha.

 

[Blackened302]

this ain't really all that funny to me--it's kinda foked up, actually...

a couple weekends ago a few friends and i were drinking at a buddy's apt. we had a pretty good array of alcohol and we all were in the drinking mood, so we drank and drank and played a couple rounds of outburst. by the time i know it, my friend's gf is all over me, grabbing my legs, my bolls and that whole area. it was foken awkward--this guy's a really good friend and he was sitting right in front of us... guess she had a little too much, but she's always been a little "frisky" with me. i don't know, it wasn't cool.

 

[Scott_95GT]

On like a Tuesday night back in high school, my buddy and I got tanked at my house when my parents took off for awhile.

I was drunk, but my friend was out of his mind. Completly blacked-out. At like 3am he stands up off my floor where he was sleeping (Everyone is home now obviously) pulls his pants down below his knees, sits his bare ass on the edge of my bed, grabs his dic and pissed for like a minute straight. Then he slide his pants on and went back to sleep.

 

[95Vert]

Awesome guys, keep 'em coming.

Then in the morning you tell them what they did and they just laugh and say, " I don't remember sheeet!" Like my cousin, another drunk story. He was wasted and got up to piss in the middle of the night. It had been a family party so my female cousin(his sister) and about 3 aunts were in the kitchen which has a direct view to the hallway. Well he got up and opened up what he thought was the restroom door and walked into the hallway. He took a piss in the middle of the hallway in front of everyone. Everyone just scattered like roaches when the lights come on. Everyone was screaming at him, so he gets mad and says "What, I'll just mop it up!!" So he goes into the closet, pulls out the mop and starts mopping the whole hallway and keeps going and mops the kitchen and living room. He looked so damn funny all bent over mopping in a hurry. The coolest part was when another drunken buddy came inside and fell asleep where my cousin had taken his piss.

 

[WhiteStallionGT]

This weekend actually involved 151 (took 3 shots), a Keg, and 2 beer pong tables.

Well after losing the 3rd consecutive game in beer pong, you could expect that I was pretty ****ed up. The beer was going down like water, and I just kept drinking one cup after the other. Well this girl comes up to me (hot) and she was like "hey you look like Dante Basco!" I'm like "Who the **** is Dante Bosco?" I said that REALLY LOUD and every1 just went silent. Then one of my friends was like "ROOFIO!!!!" Then all of then started chanting "Roofiio Roofio" and I started to freakin dance like a mad man infront of every1 as they chanted "roofio roofio"

Well... I proceeded to do a handstand (not smart when you are drunk). And I fell backwards and made a huge holes in the wall behind me. I was so drunk I don't remember much, but my friends said after I broke through the wall, I said, "wow the walls are like marshmallows every1 eat the walls!" Funny how there is no such thing as reality when you are drunk. That's my story, sort of random, but I have now earned the name "Roofio" and owe my friend tons of money.

If some of you don't know who Rufio is, this is a picture of him It's that asian kid in the movie Hook. Dante Basco played him.

This is a picture of me sober before all of the madness.

 

[WhiteDevil]

Oh man these are great stories, my little one:

We were at my friends house which was empty because he was moving, and we had several handles of Captain and several liters of Coke. There was about 30 or so people there lots of fun, drinking games and whatnot. Anyways i was very faded and my friend gives me a shot glass filled with syrup, which i thought was Captain. I take it and like immidiatly Puke everywhere. I ended up passing the **** out and and getting all sharpied up. Well i had a class the next day around 2 and cleaned off all the sharpie before i went. WEll im in class and some people are chuckling behind me. I come to find out a missed some sharpie on the back of my neck saying I LOVE MEN. I laughed it off, but it was pretty embarrasing.

 

[Joes95GT]

Just this past weekend, me, my G/F, my buddies and some of their G/F's were hangin out at my place drinking for the night. Since high school parties, we've always thrown a whole bunch of liquor together with whatever kind of juice we had and drank it. It's pretty disgusting but it always makes for good memories. This past weekend was Gordons Vodka (very gross....worse than Popov), Captain Morgans, cheap Tequilla and 1/4 bottle of Jack Daniels mixed with a can of soda, orange juice and kool aid. When all that was gone, we switched to beer at about 130. My friend passed out around 230 WITH HIS SHOES ON! I'm not usually one to do ignorant stuff to people when they pass out, but he was talking **** earlier on that night so we went at him...

We smothered his face in mayonaisse and threw Cheerios at him one at a time to see who could get the most to stick. He woke up in about 25 minutes and licked his lips, tasted mayo, and puked everywhere. LOL

I've been his friend for about 5 years now and I never knew he hated mayonaisse....it was the funniest thing ever.

Joe

 

[1994Vib.RedGT]

Just this past weekend, me, my G/F, my buddies and some of their G/F's were hangin out at my place drinking for the night. Since high school parties, we've always thrown a whole bunch of liquor together with whatever kind of juice we had and drank it. It's pretty disgusting but it always makes for good memories. This past weekend was Gordons Vodka (very gross....worse than Popov), Captain Morgans, cheap Tequilla and 1/4 bottle of Jack Daniels mixed with a can of soda, orange juice and kool aid. When all that was gone, we switched to beer at about 130. My friend passed out around 230 WITH HIS SHOES ON! I'm not usually one to do ignorant stuff to people when they pass out, but he was talking **** earlier on that night so we went at him...

We smothered his face in mayonaisse and threw Cheerios at him one at a time to see who could get the most to stick. He woke up in about 25 minutes and licked his lips, tasted mayo, and puked everywhere. LOL




I've been his friend for about 5 years now and I never knew he hated mayonaisse....it was the funniest thing ever.

Joe

haha the golden rule of partying, If they passed out with shoes on, time to have some fun, but if they dont have shoes on, its a no-go.

 

[95Vert]

Yep, there's no reality when we're drunk. I can only imagine you screaming, "the walls are made of marshmallow!!"
I'm not the type to mess around with dead drunk people when asleep but my cousin did it again a couple weeks ago and I just had to do something since it was his party. I didn't do anything major, I just wrote my name on his back with shaving cream and an arrow pointing to his anus. I got some calls later from some girls just laughing their asses off.

"I love men" that's a classic, no one better not fall asleep near me.

 

[stanglvrsgrl]

My fiance is probably going to kill me for posting this but I'm gonna anyways. My best friend and her now husband were in the process of building a house. So one weekend they invited us over to camp out at "Their house" that of course hasn't been built yet it was just a bunch of red mud cleared out. Anyway.... so we had a fire and all that good stuff. Well if was cold as ever that night and when you are drunk you really don't realize how cold it is..... Well I had WAY too much to drink (mind you, Justin and I had barely been dating 2 monthes) so I go off to the "bathroom" and I am sitting there and justin comes up behind me to rub my back and check on me. I was like "babe just leave me alone, let me sit here for a minute" he proceeds to rub my back. Next thing out of my mouth was" I warned yah" and I swear yall when I let it go it had about a 6 ft. arch on it. I threw up everywhere. All I heard from Justin was " AHHHHHHH" and he walked off. So moral of that story "never try to baby ur other half when they are drunk." hehehehehe

 

[Joes95GT]

Since this came back again.....

When I was a junior in highschool I thought it would be cool to smoke. I smoked a ton when I drank, especially after I was drunk. We were over at a friends house watching the football game one Monday night and his parents were away and I went outside to smoke (I was wasted). I can remember going out front and standing on his front steps which had very high, dense bushes on each side of the little 4x4 slab of "landing" right outside of his door. I leaned back against the house because I was having a hard time standing up, and that's all I remember.

I was woken up about 1.5 hours later being pulled out of the bushes - I must have passed out and tipped over into the bushes and didn't even know it. My friends said they were looking for me for an hour and one of them just happened to notice a huge hole in the side of the bush when they were standing in the street. LOL

Then my mom wanted to know why I had sap all over my shirt the next day....

Whoops!

Joe

 

[95WhiteVenom]

This was a long time ago at a party at a friends house. After a lot of drinkin,... mostly beer for me and a few shots of vodkia. After a long night of drinking I passed out in my friends bed with my girlfriend (at that time). Well I didn't remember anything about the night before just what happened when I woke up.
My best friend came to wake us up and i had just opened my eyes when he came in the room. I had one eye open and could see him. He started to shake my gf to wake her up so we could leave but he stopped and leaned back and said WOW nice ass. He thought it was my gf's ass hanging out from under the covers. Lil did he realize my leg was thrown over her and it was my ass. He soon noticed when I started to raise my head and almost hurled when he noticed it was my ass.