If you drink, then don't drive, but make dang sure you have some fireworks. WHAT? You don't have any fireworks?! So your gonna' tell me that you don't have no black cats, no roman candles, or screaming mimis? Oh come on man. You got no lady fingers, fuzz buttles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippity do das, or crap flappers? You're gonna stand there and tell me you don't have no whistling bungholes, no spleen spliters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker donts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser? As for me, I'm giving my neighbors concussions tonight! "Gretchen" and a full-scale 1837 US Mountain Howitzer, real firing replica.