A little help from u divorced guys please

[jlisle01]

I'm decorating a race car trailer with a sign "The top ten reasons my race car is better than my first wife" I've got seven and now I've hit a blank. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. What I have so far is:

1. I only had to pay for my race car once.
2. The only time my race car runs around is when I'm driving it.
3. Smaller rear end designed for fun handling.
4. Firmer front end adjustable to the task at hand.
5. My race car only blows noise and noxious fumes out of ONE end.
6. Car doesn't require therapy to maintain it's ideal weight.
7. Don't know how to put this but, I've never found it hard to stay awake immediately after driving my race car.

Hope you guys get a laugh and can help me fill in the last three.

 

[kooldawg6]

-Does not complain when pushed to the limit.
-Never has a headache.
-Doesn't mind being thrown around.
-Always does what I ask.
-Never an unsatisfying performance.
-Still looks as awesome as the day I got her.
-Makeovers always turnout beautifully.
-Lap after lap the ride is as tight as always.
-Tires are cheaper than diamonds.
-Mechanics are cheaper than lawyers.
-No lawyers needed for a trade in.
-No monthly payments after the car is gone.
-Warms up every time I slip inside.
-It is ok when I leave skid marks.

 

[bluecar]

8) Easier to trade in;
9) Loose panels are easier to fix;
10) Fewer tires than shoes;

some extras:
Growls are pleasant;
Not such a big deal when someone else drives it;
Doesn't look fat with stripes;
bulges are in the right spots


Ms. Ex must have been quite a lemon. I'm not divorced but couldn't help myself. Seriously, all in fun.

 

[bluecar]

-Warms up every time I slip inside.

This going hand in hand with your avtar slogan, you are a man to be envied.

 

[Jenns01TA]

This going hand in hand with your avtar slogan, you are a man to be envied.

+1 Oh and in case it matters at all, I can certainly apply most those to my ex as well. Divorce is divorce and they are Ex's for a reason.

-Does not complain when pushed to the limit.
-Never has a headache.
-Doesn't mind being thrown around.
-Always does what I ask.
-Never an unsatisfying performance.
-Still looks as awesome as the day I got her.
-Makeovers always turnout beautifully.
-Lap after lap the ride is as tight as always.
-Tires are cheaper than diamonds.
-Mechanics are cheaper than lawyers.
-No lawyers needed for a trade in.
-No monthly payments after the car is gone.
-Warms up every time I slip inside.
-It is ok when I leave skid marks.

 

[dvf1973]

unlike women, the more money i put in her the more she puts out...
i can take her out with out a bra on..
the harder i push her the faster she goes....
she gets washed everyday....
everyman wants her but shes still goin home with me...
she actually wants me to push her buttons...
its always easy to find her sweet spot...
theres never once a month with my car...
ulike my wife my car gets me laid

 

[kooldawg6]

I have a feeling this thread is going to get good.

 

[bluecar]

Ok Jenn, Im crossing threads (braye's thread) but:

She look fine without a rack.

 

[Jenns01TA]

Ok Jenn, Im crossing threads but:

She look fine without a rack.

 

[bluecar]

Ouch, stop. That hurts. I'm talking about the car, not you.

 

[kooldawg6]

-Doesn't mind my junk in her trunk.

 

[Jenns01TA]

Discharge is contained to the electrical system.

 

[attackkatt]

Getting a newer model with less miles is always an option?

 

[attackkatt]

A body shop is cheaper than a plastic surgine

 

[attackkatt]

My freinds don't drive my car when I'm gone

 

[attackkatt]

I can tell everyone about the head I got yesterday

 

[attackkatt]

Lifters won't max my Visa

 

[attackkatt]

Bad Gas is problem for only one night

 

[attackkatt]

An hour at the local Dealer is cheaper than a marrage counseler

 

[attackkatt]

I don't have to explain about the new rubber I bought