Since you could ground Pin17 and the relay didn't close [energize the fan], is it known that the HEDF relay simply didn't crap out? If that's all it is, just wire in a new stand-alone relay so the car functions as it did before. Or test the EMS wire that should be commanding the HEDF. It should be pretty simple if you can access the wire and the car is up to temp (easy to do after driving it home, etc).
For the work-around method, you'll want to include a leg to the new relay's 86 that goes to the *input* to the LPCS (so the fan comes on with the AC, like it does from the factory). Tapping the input (not the output) will keep the fan powered-on so it doesn't cycle as the compressor cycles (the factory computer has engineered hysteresis to prevent this, but a simple relay circuit won't). Use diodes on both wires going to new-relay's 86 terminal (to prevent backfeed on both circuits).
For the fan on/off temperature selection, it depends upon your t-stat and how much spread there is in the on/off temps with your tune. You'll probably want the fan to come on about 15=20* over the temp that the t-stat is fully open and shut off about 7-10*F over the temp that the stat fully opens. So if the stat opens fully at 180*F, set it on at 195-200*F, off at 185-190*.
You don't want the stat's fully-open temp and the off-temp of the fan to be too close (or the fan ends up running almost non-stop once the car is up to temp). Also note that if you run an unbalanced t-stat, the temp that it opens at might be much higher than its 'rating'. I.e., a lot of "195" degree t-stats don't fully open till 212-215*F. And thus the fan temps would need to be adjusted accordingly (so the fan isn't running while the t-stat isn't even fully open. E.g., what's the point of having the fan on at 215 and off at 205 if the stat doesn't even open all the way till 212*). More info about the t-stat and how much spread you want between fan temps would help tailor the recommendation.
Just my thoughts. Hopefully that makes some sense.