news update for me...hope you want a story...

[MI95Cobra]

where to begin....sometime in the later part of march to the first part of april my wife was having woman problems, so she went to the doctor and they told her she had an STD called "chlamydia" (for those of you who don't know what it is, its a type of bacterial infection that causes one to become steril or infertility... here's a page on it http://www.cdc.gov/std/chlamydia/STDFact-Chlamydia.htm#WhatIs
well anyway, she claimed i was the only person she was with so i must of cheated on her...after trying to let her know i never cheated on her, she still didn't believe me...whatever happened to trust and loyalty??? so her doctor prescribed medicine for both of us to take, and since i trusted her and thought we maybe i got it before we met when i was in college( i had myself tested about 1 year before we had got together and i was clean)....well lets just say that around the time she started sleeping in the living room( i also noticed she wasn't wearing her wedding ring and when i asked her about it she told me she took it off because she didn't want to loose it in the doctors office and ended up loosing it anyways, so i asked her if she wanted to go and get another ring she told me "no" and that it was alright) ...well 2 weeks before she moved out she got a new laptop computer and radio for her car.....well since we both have our own $ to spend on whatever we want to after everything else is paid for (utilities, rent, food, etc) so i didn't give it much thought....then 1 week before she moved out she told me she was going to stay the week with her mom...i was like ok...then the first part of may, i went and took the kids to school and went to work early in the morning like usual...when i got home i realized things were missing....she took our 3 dogs(1 we had for 6-1/2 yrs, 1 we had for 5-1/2yrs, and the other for 1-1/2yrs, her cat, her turtles, and clothes...she also stripped our wedding album and left all the pics with me and my family in them and left me a dear john letter stating she didn't love me anymore and that she had been trying to make it work for the past 3 years.....after 2 months of her being gone and no communication (she didn't even by the kids b-day gifts, 2 were in may and 1 was in june) i met someone...well my lease was up today(the last of july) and i couldn't afford to pay the rent by myself so the girl i'm dating asked if we wanted to move in, i told her ok but that i was uncomfortable and would give it a few months...well my wife found out and decided to email me and make me feel bad for moving on and that after 6-1/2 yrs i could move on easily and that she's the one i cheated on her with to give her the STD...3 days after that email my future ex-brother-n-law stopped by and we talked(apparently she had split up him and his ex-girlfriend)....so i guess to get even he told me not to get back with becky that she had been seeing an older married black guy behind my back since last november....she had went out for a girl's night out downtown with some friend's of her's and they were suppose to get a couple of hotel rooms so they wouldn't drive after drinking....that night she stayed the night in a hotel room with this guyand told her brother nothing happened.. ok first off, how do you stay in a hotel room with someone of the opposite sex and nothing happen??? also if your married why stay in a hotel room with another guy period....i was pissed...here she was accusing me of cheating and she was the one seeing someone....well apparently this new laptop computer and car radio, he bought her....hell he's was staying with her within 2 weeks of her moving out....i was told the week that she was suppose to stay with her mom she was actually staying with him....so after i heard all this i had a friend of mine to check into it to see if what my brother-n-law told me was true...and it was...i found out where my wife moved to and where this guy works and his name....i'm so tempted to go and have a little chat with this guy, but everyone tells me not to and to think of my foster kids...i thought i was ready to move on, but after finding out all that stuff about my future ex-wife i find i have no appetite, hardly sleep, and think about her constantly...but i'm managing to get on with it....ohhh and i talked to her for the first time last week in 3 months...of course she denies all about the guy and claimed he was just a friend and married and that maybe someday they would date.... she told me she still doesn't love me...i asked her about the ring(whether she lost it or took it off for the sake of this guy)...she told me she did loose it and then found it and then sold it...i was like WTF...that was a $5000 ring... so thats pretty much up to date...ohh and that in may she took off with the foster pay for the kids and i had to use my savings to pay for everything so i didn't have $$ to get my car up and running...after dhs fixed the problem so it wouldn't happen again i got back pay and used 1 of the checks to refund my savings $$ so now i'm waiting for my new heads to come in... well i hope i didn't bother ya'll to much with my sad sob story...i just felt the need to vent....jimmy

 

[gcomfx.com]

Wow... bottom line is this. If SHE doesn't want to be with you. You can't and should not try to force her. Been there done that. Doesn't work.

I'm very happy to hear DHS worked with you on the situation. I've gone round and round with Child Support Services here and I've paid every dime I was suppose to and THEN some, plus health insurance for 7 years I didn't have to. Still I've found myself on the dead beat dad list more than once.

Hang in there, Jimmy. If the new girl is willing to put up with all this mess, and accepts your kids, and treats them nice. Then I say, go for it. Don't rush into anything, but don't let your EX ruin your chances at a good opportunity to be with someone that'll benefit you and the kids.

 

[HISSIN50]

Wow man. I'm really sorry to hear about all of that stuff. I dont know how you have the energy to be buying parts and installing them, but that gets a from me.

Hang in there man.

 

[sage2k]

this hurts to read, im sorry for what you are going thru
I hope you find a way to move on

 

[BlackVert]

wow ... that really sucks. sounds like she has big time issues. probably the best thing to do would be to wash your hands of her and sue her for everything you can. after all, she deserted you and the kids.

i can only magine what the kids must be going through, wondering why their mother is gone and doesn't want to come home.

 

[blksn955.o]

DAMN, man...

Dont do anything, if she is this great at making choices its a good thing she left...its not the best "choice" to cheat on someone and not have the balls to tell them its over...I would think it a stand up thing, I can take you dont love me but at least have the balls to tell me and not run around like a child. Then to cheat on you with a married man...dats' der smarts n' stuff n' junk...

I have found that no matter what you think you can do to someone...if they really are ass holes they will screw themselvs up better than I ever could...look at the foster kids birth parents I dont think you could really ever mess them up more then they did themselvs.

Just take what she did and use it to be glad your not with someone who could not be there for YOU. She did nasty things to you...let that be a motivation to get over her. If you find youself getting upset, go for a jog, take the kids with you make it a cheap family activity.

Remember HATE is giving someone who does not deserve it too much of your attention.

 

[fastgtfairlane]

well now you know where she got the clap. i will tell ya women can make you the happiest man ever one day and the saddest and maddest the next. just be cool and take it one day at a time everything will work out. sounds like you have a good girl you just met. at least you still have the car.

 

[DarkStallion095]

Sorry bro

I personally have never been married so I cannot speak like I know what you are going through. I've been in a couple situations such as yours though with breakups and dishonesty. Well for instance the last one. She didn't exactly cheat on me, we broke up for about a month, but we got back together and 8 months later she told me that she slept with some guy after about a week of being broken up. Yes I stayed with her for about 10 months after that and in the end she left me. What I am trying to say is that a women knows which buttons to push and remember one thing...before doing or saying anything stupid..."they always come back." I would say that people can be forgiven but for her to lie about it so long, and be so vindictive...she is going to only drive you nuts for the rest of your life. If she is above the age of 27ish she is never going to change. There something my Dad always says. There are 3 kinds of people, those who learn fast, those who learn slow and those who never learn. You have to decide which type you are and which type she is. In the end, do what is best for the kids. What goes around comes around and she'll get hers!

Let her get pissed that you moved on. She just wants all the cake and ice-cream. I remember my broken hearts. Even though it seems like your're alone. You're not. Just buck up, start working out let some of that steam out (works wonders for your confidence). Keep working on your car. The days will pass. And the nights will also. And you got a new girl. I endured all my break-ups all by myself. It was hard but hey...there is always light and gosh I don't regret not ever going back. It may not seem right right now, but as time goes by believe me you'll know. And whens she comes back, show her no heart. You can show emotion for yourself, but give her the "Frankly my dear I don't Give a Damn! We are all here for you bro and we're rooting for you!

 

[Daggar]

Get a damned lawyer!


That is all.

 

[T0rk3d]

Wow, Im sorry you had to go through that. Hope it all works out for the best.

 

[MI95Cobra]

thanks for the responses everyone....i am taking it one day at a time....its hard though because i lost a big part of my life...i always said i only wanted to be married only 1 time and that was it.....i am thankful for this new girl i'm with(she tries to spoil me ) ....i got home from work last night and guess what i found on the coffee table??? give up?? a PS3....i was like yeah..... ...i did find someone who is willing to put up with my moodiness, because 1 moment i can be happy and then for some reason i think of the past 6-1/2 yrs and become sad the next....then when i realize i'm doing it i question myself...what the f%*& are you doing??? remember she left you and moved on...why can't you??? heck yesterday i turned my house keys to my landlord since me and the kids moved out and our lease was up....while driving down the street i saw my future ex-wife....i pointed her out to the kids and they started waving...when we drove past her, she looked away like she didn't notice us...it hurt me because she ignored the kids and when they said maybe she didn't see us i looked at them and said she knew we were there....that was

 

[BlackVert]

the thing that really gets me is that she can do this to the kids. how do you explain to your children that their mother doesn't want to see them?

sorry sweetie, your mother doesn't love you enough to want to be with you .... ? that's messed up

 

[rj95svt]

I feel for ya man. I really don't understand how people do stuff like this especially to kids that is just heartless. I understand how it can really mess with your head and how you start thinking about old times but, If she can do this to you and the kids she doesn't deserve to be part of your or your kids lives. Sounds like you got something good going now though. I mean how can you beat a girl that spoils you with a PS3!!! As the days pass it gets easier to see that your much better off now than you were.

 

[WHITE94COBRA]

Remember what goes around comes around, and Karma is a bit*h, she is already getting the bad end of this...
1. She got the clap
2. He has cheated on his wife, which means she WILL get cheated on (How else would he get an std.).
3. Divorce court will be kind to you if you present all of your evidence.
4. She left the kids with you.
5. you still have your car, and a new smokin hot G/F.
Enough said, let her fall all the way to the bottom, she is well on her way. She is sooooo below you know, and let her know that by all of your conversations from here on out, The best way to do that is sound happy, and blow her off as much as possible EX. If she calls tell her "I'm sorry I can't talk to you right now i'm way too busy." Then the next time "I was just about to leave we'll have to talk another time..." I'm sure you get where i'm going with this..... This will make her so jealous, and make her soooo mad, she'll try to call you all the time, just remember to make excuses why you have to get off the phone, and sometimes dont answer it all together. And by all means DO NOT CALL HER.....

 

[69clark]

First of all, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but she is a Peice of **** and your better off with out her. People can grow not to love each other for what ever reasons, but to grow apart from you kids and not want to be a part of their lives, she should go to hell.

Next thing is, you said you wanted to have a chat with the guy right. Well do the next best thing, have your buddy look into who his wife is, and go talk to her. Tell her that her husband has ruined your life I you wanted to inform her of what has been going on before he ruins her life. That sounds like the best revenge to me.

Sorry for the BS you have been handed, but once you make it through, you will be a stronger man than anyone on this board. For what you are doing with the kids, I think you already are.

 

[Therian]

Jimmy,

I've been following your experiences for some time now. I must say, I've always felt like you've had the raw end of the deal.

However, as twisted as this might sound...I think it's good that this happened. Sometimes you need a fresh chance. This is yours...or at least, that's how I would suggest looking at it.

I wish you the best of luck bud. Things always have a way of evening out.

 

[poboys 94]

DO NOT GO BACK WITH HER!!! I was married 15 years, 5 kids and there was NO trust when we tried to make it work. After the divorce I got into a rebound relationship with an absolute lunatic, who had a criminal record that I later found out about, the s#!t I could tell you would make your socks roll up and down dude! But I soon faced the fact that I had to be a man about this and I started to think about MY life and who "I" was, and how the hell did I let this happen so I went on a health kick, got back into music (drums), Kareoke, lived by myself, went to church and prayed alot, I went from 225lbs of fat to 172lbs of muscle went to the beaches in Florida and met new friends, my confidence level went sky high. I dated but I had big time issues with TRUST, and it took a while but I finally found the right lady for me and its great, been married now 5 years. Remember where youve been,BUT more importantly where youre GOING, and as you drive towards your new life, keep looking thru the winshield, not the rearview mirror my brother, I been there and you CAN DO IT TOO

 

[drakesdad]

Next thing is, you said you wanted to have a chat with the guy right. Well do the next best thing, have your buddy look into who his wife is, and go talk to her. Tell her that her husband has ruined your life I you wanted to inform her of what has been going on before he ruins her life. That sounds like the best revenge to me.

Sorry for the BS you have been handed, but once you make it through, you will be a stronger man than anyone on this board. For what you are doing with the kids, I think you already are.

Oh hell yeah.............I like that advice.........she was fine while she knew you were waiting....you moved on now she is pissed....typical double standard bs ...........
Happiness is the best revenge...don't pursuit the why's, what if's,,,,,chit is over...you don't dare lower yourself to talk to her......if there is one thing I'm 100 sure of.......ignoring a ex and being happy bothers the chit out of them.......rock on brother.....

 

[gcomfx.com]

x2 - move on and enjoy life. I picked up my kid for my w/e with her in an old Ford Festiva. Not joking. I brought my kid back in my current Mustang. Hard to believe it's been 7 years, but I still have my Mustang.... and I still have the memory of my ex's face when I rolled in the parking lot in it.

It just added to the experience when my daughter told her about "daddeees, horsey car!"

 

[MI95Cobra]

hey thanks everyone for the support...i just take it 1 day at a time....my girlfriend is very understanding....on a positive note i got my new heads in....i'll take pics tomorrow.......