GOOD NEWS!! (finally!)
Although I still haven't had time to put in the new pump n' stuff, I decided to take advantage of our extra holiday employee discount where I work, and thus managed to pick up a new MAF (housing, sensor, screen, and all) for a mere $58. Plopped it in there right away, and ... *GASP!* ... I haven't had a hiccup or loss of power since! Been three days now, still chewing my nails and waiting for it to come back ... but I'm really, REALLY sure that this was the final silver bullet/holy water/blessed crucifix/garlic/rosary/Bible/magic-relic-of-choice to finally exorcise the demonic presence from within the confines of my engine bay!
First off, there's the obvious mileage issue: 250k+ miles on what looked to be the original MAF? Hmmm. Secondly, my old MAF was missing the screen on the front of the housing. And lastly, it was the last of two remaining parts in the entire frickin' engine bay that hasn't been changed out, tested, adjusted, cleaned, or otherwise ruled out (the other being the EGR vacuum solenoid on the passenger-side fender).
Car pulls like a mofo, purrs like a happy kitten at idle, and I'm hoping my mileage will get a bit of a boost, as well. Santa brought me the bestest present of all, and fifteen days early, at that! ... 'cause, y'know, he felt sorry for me, or something.
Also used my discount (and my 15 hours of overtime pay from last week) to invest in one other mandatory accessory: the all-important, standard-issue Autometer Monster Shift-Lite tach. Oh yes. I am a happy, happy camper, now. Very, very, very happy. 'Tis peanut butter jelly time, indeed.
Once again, many, MANY thanks to all of you who've offered suggestions and info to me throughout this crusade. My goal in this was that I could resolve the whole problem without having to submit to my temptation to just haul the beast over to a Ford stealership and have them rape me for a few hundred bucks, only to find out it was something I could've changed out in five minutes, all along. I love you guys. Seriously. You rock. :SNSign:
To recap, in the hopes that I may somehow help others by saving them from blowing hundreds of hard-earned dollars, here are the things that it turned out NOT to be (although many of them, in my case, needed changing due to general old age):
- Distributor ($75, OEM reman ... which failed and left me stranded)
- Plug Wires ($40, Accel Spiral)
- Plugs ($16, Motorcraft)
- Cap/Rotor ($20, Accel)
- Ignition Coil ($35, MSD)
- IAC ($35)
- TPS ($25)
- EGR Valve ($75? Can't remember)
- EGR Valve Position Sensor ($40?)
- ECU Relay ($10)
- Full Seafoam and Deep Creep Treatment ($10)
- IAT ($20)
- Extra Negative Battery Cable ($10)
- BAP Sensor ($40?)
- Timing Light to check/set timing ($40)
- TFI Module ($40)
- Fuel Pressure Gauge to rule out fuel pump ($30)
- Fuel Pump w/Strainer ($110, Edelbrock 155 lph)
...and finally...
- MAF ($60, OEM reman)
est. Total Dollars Wasted on "Operation Satanic Possession": $731
Number of Replies in This Thread (so far): 110
Hours, Beers, and Brain Cells Wasted Throughout Operation: Countless
Labor Hours Saved/Wasted by Not Paying a Pro Mechanic to Diagnose/Change Out All of the Above: (I dare not even TRY to put a number here)
Moral of Story: I am an idiot with more credit card debt than common sense.