Dumbest car guy you've met

CManT1914

New Member
Feb 5, 2004
3,172
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Killeen, Texas
I just thought back to some real idiots I have met. One night I was fueling up, and this LT1 Z28 camaro pulls into the station. I finish fueling up, and start up the stang, and it revs to 2,000 or so. All of the sudden the LT1 revs back, so I rev to 4k, he revs again, so I say fawk it and rev to 6k, lol. I then pull up next to him to shoot the bull.

HIM: I didn't know a mustang could sound so good! Especially a 4.6!
ME: First of all, it's a 5.0, and they all sound good.
HIM: Really?! A 5.0! Cool dude! Yea I got a corvette motor in mine. It's a 6.7
ME: Hmm..... never heard of a 6.7 motor, did you swap it in?
HIM: No, it's the stock motor.
ME: Oh. I always wondered what my stang could do against a 6.7 *snicker*
HIM: You'd get raped, I dynoed at 370 horsepower.
ME: Wow, you must have a lot done to it.
HIM: No it's stock, except a K&N and I have some exhaust done.
ME: Damn, that's some really good gains from just an air filter and exhaust! *bust out laughing at him*
HIM: You wanna run then?
ME: No thanks, I don't race dumbasses in their daddy's cars............ *drive off*

............or another one............

I met a real genius one day at my old job. He was telling me about his 02 GT and the stuff he had done to it. I'm at work, and him and his wife walks in, and she asks me, "is that really a Cobra?" Here's how the rest of the conversation went:

ME: No, it's a GT, 5.0
HIM: What's it have in it?
ME: A 5.0 with an intake
HIM: That's no 5.0, it's a 4.6
ME: No, it's a 5.0
HIM: No, somebody lied to you, it's a 4.6
ME: Trust me, I know more about my car than you, it's a 5.0. I can go pop the hood for you?

He didn't say anything else after that. A few minutes later he starts talking about his Mustang.

HIM: Yea the computer went out on my mustang.
ME: Really?!
HIM: Yea, cus you know those computers wear down after time. Well since the car only had 37,000 miles on it, Ford replaced it for me. I also had some chrome rims put on. Ford told me that they would have to retune the computer to compensate for the extra weight. They told me they would put it on their dyno..... (our ford doesn't have a dyno :nonono: ) ...... and recalibrate it for the weight.
ME: Oh yea?
HIM: Yea, but I have no problem getting going, not with that sway-bar I got under there. The guy I bought the wheels from told me I could actually lose the sway-bar, cus of the extra weight the wheels add.
ME: Well, actually the sway-bar is for cornering, not straight line traction, you might wanna keep it on there.
HIM: Oh all right. I've got so much done to that car. I had the cam....... (just one cam?!) .......replaced, I had the heads replaced with some flat-tops............ ('da f***?) .......... They put the Cobra cam in it, that gives me more power......... (gee I didn't know what cams did!!) ........ I got a lot of power in that thing. I switched out my whole pulley system. I went smaller....... (hmmmm..... last I checked one of the pulleys was bigger on u/d's)..........
ME: Oh yea, you got some underdrive pulleys? I had some, but I kept draining my battery with my stereo, so I took them off.
HIM: I don't have a problem with that, I have a bigger alternator.
HER: You know, I don't know why Ford ever made a Mustang without a shaker hood.
ME: Like the Mach 1? I like those too.
HER: Yea, you should get one too.
ME: Unfortunately they don't make one for mine. Because of the 5.0, you can't hook it up to the engine.
HIM: You could get a fake one. The real ones don't do anything anyway. My friend with a Mach 1 brags all the time, well we raced down the 1/4 mile, and I beat him by 2 car lengths. See, I have underdrive pulleys, so my engine doesn't have to push as hard. He was mad, I told him, man all you got is another 4.6 in there, just like mine. The only difference is the cam......... (again, just one?!) ........ it ain't nothing special.
ME: .............. walks away.............

:nonono:
 
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Only one I can think of at the moment is some guy that was talking to me at a car show. He was checking out my engine and asked me what year the car was. I told him it's a 95 and he said he thought it was, but he thought the 95's came with the 5.0. I told him it used to have a 5.0, to which he replied "so what did you swap in, a 4.6?" :rlaugh:
 
One guy came up asking me about my car, And when I told him it was a 302 he asked why on earth I took out the 427 and put the 302 in (he thought it was along the lines of one of the old shelby cobras I guess) I was in shock. The other half of people that ask me about it think it's supercharged like the 03/04's. There's been some other strange questions I'm sure but I can't think of them all off the top of my head. Oh yeah while filling up a couple weeks ago there was a woman talking to me about it thinking it was an 05'.
 
My brother has a friend with a bone stock 92` 5.0L,5spd notch.(original owner).

He thinks if he removes the intake air silencer,his car will burn more gas.

No amount of debating will convince this idiot otherwise period...it`s like talking to a brick wall:lol:.(I`ve tried and failed and so has my bro).

ps-this is a 34 year old guy who has never,and can`t even do a damn oil change on his car.

The ultimate retard?Could very well be.
 
LOL Chris. I remember you telling that story a long time back about the guy at your work.

I just have bad experiences with people at the parts counter. I can't stand some of the things they say (too many to list).

I REALLY can't stand it when people try to talk about cars like they know it all .... but really know nothing. Like this guy I currently work with. He is a Chevy freak (so he says). He wants to trade his truck in for a new Duramax. So he was all hyping up Chevy and their POS's. (He didn't know that my dad is a 19 year master tech for GM & that I know quite a bit about their stuff) So I start quoting off HP & torque figures, towing capabilities .... & how the Allison tranny is pretty much worthless. I tell him what Ford & Dodge have that is BETTER. Then he changes the subject like we never were talking about it. You just had to be there. He knew he was OWNED. I think I hurt his feelings, lol.
 
Do you guys get embarrassed by other stang owners? I pulled into the gas station the other night - all low-key like normal. Got a head nod from the old guy in the Honda next to me. Then the moron in the New Edge stang a couple stalls over gets in revs it a bunch and pulls out and stops in front of my car and gives it a once over (my 94 aint special). Then the guy does a big ol' burnout as he leaves from in front of my car (on polished concrete what does it take - like 25 HP to smoke 'em?).
I was embarrassed by the whole thing. I just shrugged and left in the other direction.
 
One stupid thing:

Good friend of mine really digs my car. I guess because it has "5.0" badges and not "GT" badges on the side he doesn't realize it's a GT...one day he started badmouthing GTs real bad, saying they're slow and weak and they shouldn't have even made them. I just laughed.
 
"Where did the supercharger go?"

A guy getting his 96 GT fixed at a local shop was telling me and several others in the waiting area about his supercharger. When the kid's car was ready, he was eager to show me how clean his engine bay was so I took a look. I was the only other guy there with a Mustang, so he thought I'd be impressed. Well..........there was no supercharger and frankly, everything under the hood was bone stock down to the air filter and silencer.

The kid told me that the supercharger was underneath the engine, so it was hard to see. The mechanic and I were speechless! Apparently, the dad bought this 96 GT for the kid a little while before and told him that it was supercharged. Even after owning the car for a few months, the kid didn't know any better and truly believed it was there AND gave him a 100 extra horses.

Wish I could have taken my bone stock stang and raced him afterwards. I was actually looking forward to seeing the supercharger on his car.
 
Swarzkopf said:
One stupid thing:

Good friend of mine really digs my car. I guess because it has "5.0" badges and not "GT" badges on the side he doesn't realize it's a GT...one day he started badmouthing GTs real bad, saying they're slow and weak and they shouldn't have even made them. I just laughed.

One sorta like that I have. I heard these people talking once and they are like, 5.0s are really small and slow. They just keep going off like every gt mustang out there has a 5.0 not a 4.6. Then one of those people say, we like real american muscle like a 302s & 318s
 
One guy swore up and down that I had a plastic intake. I told him that I believe those are on some 4.6 engines, however, mine was a 302. He didn't like Mustangs anymore because of the plastic intakes being used. I was driving my Jeep at the time, but told him to check out any 95 or earlier Mustang GT. He started to think he might be wrong, but didn't want to admit it.
 
CManT1914 said:
ME: A 5.0 with an intake
HIM: That's no 5.0, it's a 4.6
ME: No, it's a 5.0
HIM: No, somebody lied to you, it's a 4.6


I HATE when peopel argue with me about that. sometimes I just want to shoot peopel like that :flame: the worst ones are dubmass mustang owners who only know it's pretty and goes fast and ricers who lost to a 4.6 the other night. this guy I met with a Roush 440A convert. That car is sooooo nice. dark red with black racing stripes and 18in ch chrome wheels. I thought I test the guy and see what he knew. I go up to him:

Me: I like you wheels. I've put a set of Roush on mine. How wide are your back tires?
Dude: They are 18s
Me: No, how wide?
Dude: Oh well...uh.. I dunno.


Dude: This thing has that short throw shifter. it's nice. I don't even use the clutch sometimes.
Me: Uh, can I go ahead and buy your car cause yeah, Roush would be pissed at seeing who bought his car.
 
I know a guy at work that bought a set of 83lb injectors for his stock AWD talon. He said "I'll never have to upgrade my injectors again!". I told him, "Yeah, and you'll never be able to idle again either!". He has some tuning software, and thinks he can tune it well enough to run as smooth as stock. :lol:
 
loudpedal99 said:
I know a guy at work that bought a set of 83lb injectors for his stock AWD talon. He said "I'll never have to upgrade my injectors again!". I told him, "Yeah, and you'll never be able to idle again either!". He has some tuning software, and thinks he can tune it well enough to run as smooth as stock. :lol:

Dude, lots of guys can idle just fine with 83lb injectors!..........















..........of course they're driving top fuel dragsters :rlaugh:
 
HISSIN50 said:
Do you guys get embarrassed by other stang owners? I pulled into the gas station the other night - all low-key like normal. Got a head nod from the old guy in the Honda next to me. Then the moron in the New Edge stang a couple stalls over gets in revs it a bunch and pulls out and stops in front of my car and gives it a once over (my 94 aint special). Then the guy does a big ol' burnout as he leaves from in front of my car (on polished concrete what does it take - like 25 HP to smoke 'em?).
I was embarrassed by the whole thing. I just shrugged and left in the other direction.

A different ,but similar experience.
Years ago back in the late 80`s when I was driving my 72 Mach 1 Mustang,I was on a deserted two lane paved 50 mph road on my way to my grandparents cottage in northern Ontario.

In the distance I saw a 71-73 Mustang Grande coming the other way,and as we got closer he started slowing down and stopped,then did a burn out as I passed by.I thought to myself,wtf is up with that:shrug:.
 
I worked in a parts store for three years. I have seen so many dumbass car owners that think they know what they are talking about it's not even funny. But I guess the best one was the guy that came into the store and wanted a starter for his chevy. I asked him what year and if it was a car or truck and his answer was it did not matter. I told him that it did and I needed to know. He then proceeded to inform me about him working on cars longer than I have been alive and that they were all the same for a v8 chevy. So I went and got him a starter for a 5.3L in a newer silverado. He paid and came back in a few hours later and said that was not right that I sold him the wrong one. My response was how was it wrong when they were all the same? There have been many more as bad as him but none worse that I can remember.