Need support from fellow stangers.

mob

the guy who hits on his mom
Dirt-Old 20+Year Member
Oct 3, 2003
2,566
137
104
Dallas, TX
Hey guys. Yesterday my girl friend officially broke up with me. And let me say for all of you older guys you probably know what its like, its the worst feeling in the world, to love someone that much, and to know they still have feelings for you but to know you cant hold their hand, to know you cant kiss them or be with them anymore. She was really my whole life, her family was my second family. Her mom and dad loved me, i was her brothers like best friend. Id walk in their house anytime, memories of me are planted everywhere in that house. I would wake up go to school, call her when she got home, go to her house and see her before I went to work, and we were happy. And now she has more important things to do. She has tons of hard senior classes, theatre after school everyday, her grandpa is about to die, her job is hard, she has some heart problems, and I just cant be her most important thing anymore, so she said she needed time. I can deal with time, but when she tells you she dosent think it will ever work again its hard. I dont know what to do, ive never lost anyone before, i begged her for a day told her i can be there to support her through these things instead of being a problem, she just says she cant do it anymore. I know there is no other guy, she still has so many feelings for me, i know when shes at home shes crying because of how miserable she is without me, but i dont know what to do, i seriously sit on my bed all day. I dont have an appetite, I dont want to drive, I dont want to go to school. Honestly i could say ill get through it with friends, but I dont have any friends, my one best friend has a gf more like a wife. What should I do, I know most of you guys have been through this before who hasent, she got pissed at me today because i kept calling her and said some pretty bad things to her. If I dont talk to her for a week or see her for a week you guys think shell be back? Im already starting to move on and see maybe were not gonna be able to get back together again and ill have to move on, but what should I do through out the day, what are some good stress relievers, sorry for the long story but I thought its a bunch of guys in here, they have gone through the same thing though most dont like to admit it. And some might say just go out and find another girl and hit it, but I cant, Im the relationship kind of guy, not saying im the puss who will do anything, but im the kind of guy who plays hard to get until i find the right girl.

Its hard knowing she dosent want you. The way I see it is for her, she dosent have that many people. Her best friend is the kind of person who kisses every guy and does crazy things but only thinks about her self, if she were to call her about something important shell probably say she needs to go, if she called ehr crying she might listen and then try to make her feel better but thats it. Her mom is the kind of person who cares ALOT, but will lecture you when you come to her with a problem. Her dad just dosent talk its that simple. She sees her brother as a little brat. She really dosent have many friends, she has friends but know on really their for her besides those people. So it was a really big shock when she told me she didnt want to do this anymore, and she needed space. Again there is no other guy in her life, but Im hoping when something does happen and she runs to those people and they let her down, im hoping shell come back to me, if that happens in the next week, ill probably take her back, if i start moving on, ill be there for her as a friend, but thats about it.
 
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Dont sweat as much as it hurts now its not that bad. Youll get over her and find another girl. Chances are if she broke up with out of the blue there another bull in the shed. Just be the better man and let it go.. There are tons of chicks out there man. Ive had girlfriends that i thought i loved when i was in highschool and broke up with them then i met my wife weve been together almost 7 years. Remember Bitches aint **** but hoes and tricks. Just go to the track if you have a pedal bike go do some tricks or make your self fall pain is usually a good way to get over heart ache. I personally used to get drunk and then hang out with my friends all the time that got me over girls quick.
 
Women arent as hard as a lot of people say they are to learn. First no no was having called her and said bad things. Its apparant that you want her back in your life, and you feel that she does as well, despite her choice of action. The one thing to keep in mind is that if you are both important to each other, being or not being together should not interfere with genuine care. The best thing you could probably do, is go to a store, pick up a little fuzzy bear, and tie a small, little note around its neck. Go to her house, and have her mom give it to her. Just write "I'm sorry that it worked out this way, I want you in my life in whatever capacity, I just want you to know that I still love you, even if only as a friend." And she'll go from there. But you need to decide if you can just handle to be "just" a friend.

::Edit::

And it does go away, its like quitting smoking. You cant think of anything else, until you just stop thinking about it. It just happens, and then you feel good. And being single for a little while is good. Youre only 17, right? Long relationships at that age are sensitive, because you guys arent really you, yet. You're going to change so much over the course of a few years, that it will be different than when you started. Having heartbreak just makes you appreciate real love. How is warm weather sweet without the cold? ...
 
Yes - it sucks VERY hard when you're 17 years old and you go through a break up. It's a lot worse at your age than it is when you get older. It seems like nothing is quite as important as that relationship, and nothing will ever replace it, but gets easier...over time. Rigamaroles nailed it on the head when he said it was like quitting smoking. It is 100% on your mind 100% of the time, but eventually, it goes away.
I had a couple pretty serious relationships when I was your age. One of them was VERY serious. We thought we'd be together forever. But we were 18 years old and we didn't realize what 18 year old relationships really were - they are just practice runs for later ones.
Don't get me wrong - she may have seemed perfect in your eyes, but if you guys stay apart, you'll look back at your relationship complelely differently when you're 25 and smile because you'll realize it was nice while it lasted, but it's not THE relationship you thought it was. Trust me on a couple things-
#1 - it gets better (I promise)
#2 - you will find someone else over time
#3 - As PERFECT as you think she was for you, your opinion will change over time and you'll look at your time with her with different eyes.

Hang in there and go do some mods!
 
RsStanG1987 said:
Dont sweat as much as it hurts now its not that bad. Youll get over her and find another girl. Chances are if she broke up with out of the blue there another bull in the shed. Just be the better man and let it go.. There are tons of chicks out there man. Ive had girlfriends that i thought i loved when i was in highschool and broke up with them then i met my wife weve been together almost 7 years. Remember Bitches aint **** but hoes and tricks. Just go to the track if you have a pedal bike go do some tricks or make your self fall pain is usually a good way to get over heart ache. I personally used to get drunk and then hang out with my friends all the time that got me over girls quick.

Your married?? I thought you were like 22 haha. Thanks man. I was thinking about going to parties and such but ive already been arrested once for smoking, i got out of the party phase 2 years ago, im willing to have fun, but its hard to do that around here with people, ESPECIALLY in winter springs.



rigamaroles said:
Women arent as hard as a lot of people say they are to learn. First no no was having called her and said bad things. Its apparant that you want her back in your life, and you feel that she does as well, despite her choice of action. The one thing to keep in mind is that if you are both important to each other, being or not being together should not interfere with genuine care. The best thing you could probably do, is go to a store, pick up a little fuzzy bear, and tie a small, little note around its neck. Go to her house, and have her mom give it to her. Just write "I'm sorry that it worked out this way, I want you in my life in whatever capacity, I just want you to know that I still love you, even if only as a friend." And she'll go from there. But you need to decide if you can just handle to be "just" a friend.

::Edit::

And it does go away, its like quitting smoking. You cant think of anything else, until you just stop thinking about it. It just happens, and then you feel good. And being single for a little while is good. Youre only 17, right? Long relationships at that age are sensitive, because you guys arent really you, yet. You're going to change so much over the course of a few years, that it will be different than when you started. Having heartbreak just makes you appreciate real love. How is warm weather sweet without the cold? ...


Yea im just 17, thats what I tried to explain to her, that I realise that before when she tried to make me number one thats when we got in fights because i couldnt be. I tired to tell her that at age 17 we have different priorities then to have a boyfriend being the most important things in our life. I told her that instead of adding me to the pile of stress you have, if you put me at the same level as you it will be 2 people against like 5 things, instead of 1 person against 6. And then I made the mistake of calling her again, she was busy of course, i got mad, I called her back and told her that I hated her for what she did to me, and that I regret everything weve done, and i wouldnt have done it if I k new she would do this to me. I screwed up big time there, I havent talked to her since, Im not going to talk to her, and ill probably call her in a week to see how shes doing. She takes things very seriously and I know she might not forgive me for what i said to her today, maybe with time though. I already tried the buying her something, she isnt the kind of person you can win over with a gift, she more of thinking then emotions, so she knows a gift might make her feel good, but it dosent fix the fights. I bought her the first movie we ever saw in theaters together, and i wrote her a note pretty much saying Im sorry and im gonna give you space, and that stuff but that didnt work out to good. I think maybe if I had left her alone when we broke up she might be with me now, but ive never done this before, and my heart was literally ripped out, and I know you guys might think im gay or something but I honestly sat in the bathroom stall at work on my break and cried as hard as i could for 30 minutes. This is my second gf, and I broke up with my first one, so like i said, Ive never lost anyone, when my gma and gpa's died I was too young to feel pain, no one close to me has ever been taken away from me. So its hard, but im gonna move on, and wait till I find another girl who loves my car just as much as she did, has a great family, and is just as cute as she was.
 
aaron11272 said:
Yes - it sucks VERY hard when you're 17 years old and you go through a break up. It's a lot worse at your age than it is when you get older. It seems like nothing is quite as important as that relationship, and nothing will ever replace it, but gets easier...over time. Rigamaroles nailed it on the head when he said it was like quitting smoking. It is 100% on your mind 100% of the time, but eventually, it goes away.
I had a couple pretty serious relationships when I was your age. One of them was VERY serious. We thought we'd be together forever. But we were 18 years old and we didn't realize what 18 year old relationships really were - they are just practice runs for later ones.
Don't get me wrong - she may have seemed perfect in your eyes, but if you guys stay apart, you'll look back at your relationship complelely differently when you're 25 and smile because you'll realize it was nice while it lasted, but it's not THE relationship you thought it was. Trust me on a couple things-
#1 - it gets better (I promise)
#2 - you will find someone else over time
#3 - As PERFECT as you think she was for you, your opinion will change over time and you'll look at your time with her with different eyes.

Hang in there and go do some mods!

Haha great idea, only if i had money!! Im gonna have more money, now that im single though! haha, not really, she always paid for food, and even my gas :( Im actually probably gonna have less now.
 
aaron11272 said:
Damn - sorry to hear that! Well I guess you will now have more time to work more hours...THEN go do some mods!

haha I know your trying to help but I work 28 hrs a week, by law i cant work more then 30 hrs, haha my life sucks! But trust me heads, and headers are going in soon, I cant wait! Honeslty though, when I wasent single I can say my car wasent imporatnt to me, honestly I would have sold my car for her, (Id regreat it for the rest of my life though) but you get my point that my car wasent always on my mind, when i thought about modding It I thought it would be fun, but my car is my baby again, im EXCITED to start modding and dumping money into it again. Some people say cars are their antidrugs, my car is my anti girlfriend! haha maybe not that drastic but thanks for the help guys, ive decided my car is going to be my new baby, though I never looked at my car as a female, itll still be my baby. Just wondering, how many of you guys see your car as a female? When I think of my car I think of a male.
 
Number one thing is this kind of stuff takes time. A lot of people will say just forget about her and bang some other chick in a matter of a week. In the real world if you actually had a real relationship and loved her this isn't something that a one night stand is going to fix. I've been there and I was hating life for a while. It all comes back to taking time, maybe she will come back to you, maybe not, or as time passes you will get back into the dating game and find someone new.
 
You'll know her better than anyone on these boards, but in essence, they're all the same. The thing about the gift isnt so much the gift, its the message behind it. Its the words on the paper, and then everytime she sees the bear, she'll remember the words, and she'll think of you. Thats the purpose to the gift. It does get better, and as mentioned above, BELIEVE me, it is a trial run. You have to learn to communicate in a relationship and love, and squabble and sex and all the **** in it, so that in the real relationship, you're a pro. And then everythings smooth. Big learning curve, its huge. Dont worry about the looks or the love of mustangs, just worry about the woman. Dont ever go after a woman just because shes "friggin hot", because if shes "friggin hot" she knows it, and 99.9999% of the time they're b*tches because of it, trust me lol. And it really starts to irritate you when it takes them as long as it does to make themselves look pretty. My philosophy is that beauty is underneath the makeup. And someone you connect with will look great (even if they already do, regardless) because you connect, and if someone looks great and you dont connect, they will start to look ugly fast.
 
aaron11272 said:
Mine's female. I couldn't have that much affection for a male!

haha thats true, idk, I just dont see my car having a vagina.


And one last time for roland, his favorite picture haha, and I guess its one of strypes too.

(I will say though, she was AMAZING in the bedroom.) :nice:

kels8gu.jpg
 

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rigamaroles said:
You'll know her better than anyone on these boards, but in essence, they're all the same. The thing about the gift isnt so much the gift, its the message behind it. Its the words on the paper, and then everytime she sees the bear, she'll remember the words, and she'll think of you. Thats the purpose to the gift. It does get better, and as mentioned above, BELIEVE me, it is a trial run. You have to learn to communicate in a relationship and love, and squabble and sex and all the **** in it, so that in the real relationship, you're a pro. And then everythings smooth. Big learning curve, its huge. Dont worry about the looks or the love of mustangs, just worry about the woman. Dont ever go after a woman just because shes "friggin hot", because if shes "friggin hot" she knows it, and 99.9999% of the time they're b*tches because of it, trust me lol. And it really starts to irritate you when it takes them as long as it does to make themselves look pretty. My philosophy is that beauty is underneath the makeup. And someone you connect with will look great (even if they already do, regardless) because you connect, and if someone looks great and you dont connect, they will start to look ugly fast.

Yea, But honestly I couldnt give her anymore memories, when she pulls up into her driveway shes going to remember all the times we washed our cars together, when she walks up to her porch she will remember the hundreds of times she kissed me goodnight, when she goes in she will remember all the times me and her were spread out on her dinning room floor with my dog taking pictures, when she goes into her living room she will remmebr the HOURS we spent in there, the hundreds of movies we watched, the "times" on her couch, the first time we ever did it was on her couch, when she goes into the kitchen my senior picture is on her refrigerator, when she goes into her bathroom she will remember the shower "incident", when she walks in her room she will remember when I helped her paint her wall, my picture on her desk, lets not even start with the bed, im saying I am PLANTED in her house forever, and its not like she can through the pictures away and forget about the memories beacuse I know her, she has feelings for me, she wont through those things away and she will not forget. Seeing each other everyday for 5months, theres SOO many expierence that take place.

I know what you guys are saying, and tahts why I will move on, but its really hard to go through all that and one day her just tell you she dosent want to do it anymore, and the feeling that she dosent need you, or want to talk to you, or see you, or has more important things to do kills you.
 
Man dont sell your experience under the covers on one girl. Been there done that then you find one ten times better. Im 23 and been married 2 years now say what you will but my wife is cool she bought me 3 stangs and a bike so i cant complain that and shes crafty in the bed room.
 
Well if those memories are too strong and she can't overcome them, she will come back. If she can overcome them, she won't come back and that most likely means it wasn't meant to be. Wait to see what she does. Her feelings towards you will determine what happens next. If nothing happens next, you will know that you need to move on.
 
RsStanG1987 said:
Man dont sell your experience under the covers on one girl. Been there done that then you find one ten times better. Im 23 and been married 2 years now say what you will but my wife is cool she bought me 3 stangs and a bike so i cant complain that and shes crafty in the bed room.

I never said she was my only one. And im glad you found a great wife. But you guys were together since you were 16? I know there will be better, were 17, Im just saying for her age, she was a freak.
 
RsStanG1987 said:
Man dont sell your experience under the covers on one girl. Been there done that then you find one ten times better. Im 23 and been married 2 years now say what you will but my wife is cool she bought me 3 stangs and a bike so i cant complain that and shes crafty in the bed room.

I didn't get married until I was 25, and I'm 31 now. I look back at my "serious" relationships, and they don'tg seem that "serious" anymore.
 
mob said:
I know you guys might think im gay or something but I honestly sat in the bathroom stall at work on my break and cried as hard as i could for 30 minutes. This is my second gf, and I broke up with my first one, so like i said, Ive never lost anyone, when my gma and gpa's died I was too young to feel pain, no one close to me has ever been taken away from me. So its hard, but im gonna move on, and wait till I find another girl who loves my car just as much as she did, has a great family, and is just as cute as she was.

Im 16, and ive been with my gf almost 6 months and she means everything to me, and It doesnt make you gay or anything like that if you get upset and cry over it. My friends see me as being one of the "tough guys" or whatever but my closest friends know im not like that...im in the same boat as you, i dont wanna go around ****ing everygirl I see I like to have a girlfriend whos there for you and you can just hug and spend time with and stuff...and im not saying I wouldnt have a one night stand or anything, but that just doesnt do it for me...and anyone who give you the whole Bros before hoes bull**** has never had a girlfriend that they really cared about and if they still say it then they just arent man enough to admit they were hurt. So i cant tell you whats gonna happen cause i dunno, but i wish you the best of luck man :nice:
 
sorry to hear man, but dont sweat it. Theres other fish in the sea! and im no woman but i think there has to be some other issues going on that you dont no about. Thats kinda a dumb reason to break up with someone if you so call "love" and "care" about them so much. If she is stressin like it seems, most girls want a b/f to comfort them and what not. Not to be single and alone. So you should check in to that, im not saying there could be another guy.. but hey ya neva no!! and quit callin her and play it coo for a while and wait for her to call you. Or try ignoring her and she'll eventually want you back!
 
aaron11272 said:
Well if those memories are too strong and she can't overcome them, she will come back. If she can overcome them, she won't come back and that most likely means it wasn't meant to be. Wait to see what she does. Her feelings towards you will determine what happens next. If nothing happens next, you will know that you need to move on.

Yea thats why I am going to wait like a week, and see how she is doing, she is going to a cardiologist soon because of her heart problems, Im gonna call her to make sure shes ok. Shes also on some medicine now for something with her bladder, that makes her feel like crap, she started taking it on saturday, and broke up with me on sunday, wouldnt be surprised if that has something to do with it. Oh and her "time of the month" was yesterday so im sure that also had something to do with it.