Joke of the day

[TweekedGT]

You gotta love the Irish!

Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money between them. They could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro.

Murphy said 'Hang on, I have an idea.'

He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage.

Shamus said 'Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!'

Murphy replied, 'Don't worry - just follow me.'

He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whisky.

Shamus said 'Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!'

Murphy replied, with a smile. 'Don't worry, I have a plan, Cheers!'

They downed their Drinks. Murphy said, 'OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth.'

The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out.

They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free.

At the tenth pub Shamus said 'Murphy - I don't think I can do any more of this. I'm drunk and me knees are killin'me!'

Murphy said, 'How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub.

 

[cenok is family]

hahaha

 

[grey5.0beast]

lmao

 

[87foxstang]

I dont get one thing...how were they getting free drinks? were people paying them to see the guy suck on a sausage

 

[5.0Droptop]

I dont get one thing...how were they getting free drinks? were people paying them to see the guy suck on a sausage

It ceases to be funny if one has to explain it.
But heres the Cliff notes.

* 1 goes to bar order drinks
2 they drink the drinks
3 next they pretend to get/give a blow job in bar,the bartender throws them out so they got drinks free,
4 go to next bar and do it all over again,

hence getting drunk for free cause they are thrown out everytime before they pay for said drinks.

 

[TweekedGT]

I dont get one thing...how were they getting free drinks? were people paying them to see the guy suck on a sausage

 

[5.0Droptop]

 

[foxmustangman]

That was awesome!

 

[Turkey Sammich]

Far to many ghey threads around here.

 

[RS200]

Whale oil beef hooked.

 

[87foxstang]

ohh wow i feel like an idiot

I dont know what i was thinking

 

[PUNISHER RACING]

ok next joke it says one a day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[TweekedGT]

Ok here's todays:

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas
and says, "Seven Points."
His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"
The old man replied, "It's fart football."
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score."
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, "Aha!
I'm ahead 14 to 7 !"
Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, "Touchdown, tie
score."
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "Field
goal, I lead 17 to 14."
Now the pressure is on the old man.
He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.
Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and
accidentally poops in the bed.
The wife says, "What the heck was that?"
The old man says, "Half time, switch sides"

 

[91foxbod50]

lmao that was awesome

 

[87foxstang]

now THAT one I get

 

[foxmustangman]

OMG

 

[FrankenStang]

I have one.

Why's the monkey fall out of the tree?

 

[87foxstang]

to get to the ground

 

[5.0Droptop]

now THAT one I get

Thats funnier than the joke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[HISSIN50]

Good stuff.